By Misti Velvet Rainwater <mvrain@schreiner.edu>
Date: 9 November 1997

To All the Girls Jay Has Loved B4

 This goes out to Jennifer and all the other girls out there 
    lucky enough to have spent time with the notorious 
             Jay "I'm Not Gay" Roberts
         this from a girl who exhausted her checking account
             and sold her soul in Las Vegas, Nevada
        to be flesh of the flesh
           of that lying, sociopathic, one-armed prep school reject
        who would've done a swell Ted Bundy reprise
           if not for his handicap
        girls, be wary
       stay on your toes
          stock the bedside with condoms
       and don't miss those Depo-Provera appointments