By Niki
Date: 8 November 1997

Possibilities...

She notices him across the room...and wonders.
"He still looks the same," she thinks to herself.  "Still the same man that 
he used to be."
She notices the way he moves his hands, his body, when he speaks to another.
Those same familiar gestures that she's seen so many times before...memorized.
That same face that she's caressed, those eyes she's spent countless hours 
staring into.
That body that she held close to hers so many nights.....

All others in the room seem to disappear as she watches him across the room. She
notices the way his eyes light up, the way his dimple (the same adorable little
dimple in his right cheek that she always loved) appears when he smiles, but she
realizes that it's not her that's making him smile...no more is she the one that
he is gazing at.  

She knew it was a mistake when she ended it so many months before. She needed 
freedom...he needed commitment. She knew that even now, after time had gone by,
she needed her freedom. Her right to be her...not half of "them". Sure, she still
loves him....loves the way he moves, the way he holds his hands when he tells
a funny story, the way the intensity of his gaze makes each person that he talks
to feel so uniquely special...

She returns from her thoughts and is startled to find him gazing back across
the room at her. Their eyes meet, and he starts across the room...

As he comes towards her, she is thinking "this is my chance--I can have him
back." But when he gets to her, and smiles eagerly, she sees the hope in his 
eyes too....and immediately pulls away from her fantasies, reality falling down 
around her. She knows that she will never be with him again....could never 
commit herself the way that she knows he wants her to....

"The problem with wondering if something is still there," she thinks, "is that
often something is...."