By April <sadsadkitty@hotmail.com>
Date: 10 November 1997

Uncertainty

As I gaze down from my tower
The tide rises closer to my bower.
He eats away the walls that I have built
Til they become nothing but dirt and silt.

I cower in the corner.
He is nearing my dormer.
I can hear his heavy breathing
Within which secrets and mysteries are seething.

His eyes stop me short.
Their brown depths cause me to transport
To another world where reality is far
And into his hand I fall like a star.

He tells me that he wants me.
But can it really be?
What am I to believe
When he is always quick to deceive?

I slowly inch up the wall until I'm standing.
It is I for whom he is constantly demanding.
Many promises he makes
And it is my heart and love he takes.

He says he will unbreak my heart.
But is he just playing a part?
His grip on my soul
Is taking its toll.

"To innocence I must return!"
I scream in agony as I yearn
His touch, his love, his embrace.
What other perils must I face?

In misery I await
The coming of my fate.
Will it be horrendously bad?
Or the best I ever had?

Through my body courses the pain.
But it is he who gains
My strength, my love, my will
And leaves me with the bill.

My doubts above me hover
Like a really cruel lover
Coming at me in a rush
And leaving me feeling like a lush.

Return my sanity must
But alas, it is nothing but dust.
Crushed by his awesome power
Like a frail, white flower.

He sets my world on its ear
And makes me wonder if I should fear
The words he so desperately does utter
That causes my body with anticipation to shudder.

"Why is it I that you must twist
Around your little finger?" I hissed.
He sighed, "Because when our love was new,
This was the hell you put me through."