By from P.S. to P.S.
Date: 22 September 1997

Secrets

            We share a secret, you and I, a secret such
            as I have never kept before.
            I keep it tucked away from the rest of the
            world-taking it out only when everyone is gone.
            Sometimes I sit and think of the things we've
            said to each other and think...was it a dream?
            I hope and pray that it's not all just a fantasy
            that I'm creating in my own mind.
            I long for some confirmation from you..
            Sometimes I just want to shake you..
            You're so indifferent,leaving me
            to doubt myself.
            The voice inside me screams with 
            the words I long to say.
            I tread so carefully when I'm with you..
            careful not to cross the line..
            so afraid I might scare you away.
            I wait for the moment when it will
            be okay to say what I feel..
            I wonder, will that moment ever come?
            I try to fill my thoughts with other things,
            trying to push you out..
            but thoughts of you keep seeping back in,
            so much a part of my everyday life.
            I guess I'll just wait.. it seems that's
            all I ever do...all I CAN do...
            I've learned patience if nothing else from
            all of this....
            But for now, I want you to know that I love you...
            I would do anything for you..
            If you asked me to fade away...I would do that, too.
            I would disappear from your life..
            and I would be forever grateful, having
            known a wonderful person like you...
            The trees are beautiful this time of year..
             wish you were here...