By sCrEaMiNgAnGeL
Date: 7 November 1998

too bad these are the memories

forgetfullness is cowardice
you fill up my life with wanting to kick myself
i don't blame you
did i say i did?
i think maybe you assume as much
ask around about that time
where my mouth spewed black-out songs
if they answer honestly you'll find no one cares
maybe times of hell were the times
that really meant something
they probably aren't
when plastic words are all you hear
it's fucking hard to know whats real
especially when its not even directed at you 
so when did you expect it to 
be directed at you anyway?
the thing is the person you give out is about as deep
as a drop of wine
so how in the hell do you expect me to be real at you
i really can be real
youve just never seen it
so maybe you are at fault
for never being open enough for me to withdraw from this
cottonball personality
into the truer face of my child eyes
well fuck you too
i dont think you really get what 
im trying to say
so get over the disillusionment 
you have of yourself
because even though im the one
with the infamous history 
youre the twisted soul that brought
it out of the shithole inside of me
im sick of your wallpaper approval 
and im sick of the selfish vagueness of your wants
maybe you should try feeling yourself 
instead of taking everyone else and feeling them as if they were you 
for once
so i can stop blaming myself
so i can stop wasting my time wishing i could prove myself to you