By ZoE
Date: 3 November 1998

said it'd never be this way

i always hated going to your house
smelled of cigarette ashes and life passing you by just slow enough to 
look you in the eye
you told me your insides were dying and you needed me again
you called me in your "let me draw you" voice
your house reeked of life without someone to mend the frayed ends
it made me half smile in those dirty converse shoes with your name still
on it as you unbuttoned my dress
i didn't want to be here
i didn't want to be yours
but you needed me to be 
i threw away the notes you wrote me
then you asked where i was in your gum stuck to the insides voice
i said "right here"
you said no,no your far away
i bit my lip and eyed the door
"i know you don't want to be here" you said
i looked at my wrists (i am no one)
closing the door behind me and trying to not make noise as i walked down your front 
steps in agony