By d (goddess@gibbed.com)
Date: 11 June 1998

crossroads

decision making was never my strong point

and i remember those
strawberry kisses 
and i remember those 
nights alone 
waiting
hoping 
that the next time would be 
forever

and now forever has come 

a crossroads 
you don't see it but
i do 
a turning point 
where your words mean more
than you think they do 
and your silences 
mean more than your anger

i never allow myself any anger 

i remember those 
stolen moments
calling in sick just to 
do nothing 
and i remember those
teary long distance phone calls
and now you're in the next room 

we have progressed 
you would think 
but i believe i'm taking steps 
backwards 

long ago i realized that i have to 
be selfish
care about my heart even when no one else does 

long ago i should have realized 
that you never learned this 
you just knew it 
you've never had your heart stolen
so how can you treasure it?

this is a crossroads 
when you say "this isn't fun anymore" 
i think 
"if you only knew"

and shouldn't you know? 
aren't we lovers?
roomates? 
soulmates? 

shouldn't you be holding my hand
as i close my eyes and choose a path?
shouldn't you realize 
that i can't make this decision
alone?

decision making was never my strong point