By karmapup@yahoo.com
Date: 26 June 1998

men's dreams

You have no idea what goes on in men's dreams....
in my dreams
When I was eleven my dreams were of white gloves
chasing me
down the hallway bouncing away at the sight of a woman
this image haunts me to this day
but it is hyperion to a satyr
it is
polaroid one step to kodak advantix
it is
sex with a stranger to a kiss of your lips
the love in your eye
the cool blaze of your touch....
and now the only place where I can experience that is 
in my dreams
in men's dreams
and I feel the slamming of my heart
the lightning in my veins
my mind is racing
my brain is boiling
we sit on a lawn at a party and I am mature and I ask...
I ask that question...
"yes and he treats me very well...he's going to be a star"
and suddenly I know this is not my dream
this is not men's dreams...
enveloped in cowardly shame
I do all I can do....

i wake up.

and i do not know if i will ever sleep again.