The Blender Board

From: Roko
Date: 29 April 1998

Tony K,
  Your poems are okay, but not near as good as Lord Byron's.

From: Lewis
Date: 29 April 1998

This site makes me wish I had a woman in my life. Then I
could leave poems on her make-up table every morning.

From: anastasa@carleton.edu
Date: 29 April 1998

kirk, 
does the mailing list still function? 
haven't gotten an update in 3 issues !
thanks
alison

From: Rennie Lorca
Date: 29 April 1998

Dear Kirk,

I want to thank you for including my verse on your front
page of The Love Blender. Now you see what I was talking
about in your survey when I mentioned you and Pandora.
However you work the site, thanks for it, for myself and
for everyone who enjoys it...........Rennie Lorca

From: Tony K
Date: 29 April 1998

Roko,

I whole heartedly agree with you that my stuff is not nearly
as good as Lord Byron's.  *laughing*  However that is quite
a compliment that you should even think to compare my work
to that of such a famous poet.  That makes me want to work
a little harder to live up to such a compliment. ;)  Thank
you for the undeserved, but appreciated, comparison.

- Tony

From: TruLeigh
Date: 30 April 1998

Dear Tony K,

Lord Byron wrote in the language for his day. You write, with flair, 
sincerity, and fervor in your own. Please continue to delight, 
insight, and provide us with a glimpse
of what a lover feels.  We are all enriched by you from
digging into our own lives to compare experiences.

Date: 30 April 1998

Eve- 

Once again you have delighted me with your great works
of poetry... I keep a binder of all kinds of poetry that i 
think are good or in Tony K.'s case pieces i think
are just works from the soon to be great poets of our time.
And sometimes ones that show a glimps of reality into 
my life.  But anyhow, you can bet that just about everyone 
you wrote (almost) is in there.  And that goes the same for 
Tony K.  but anyhow i just read "Soulmates" and 
"Life comes full circle"  and believe me they're in there!
Just thought you should know you did a great job on
thoes pieces.

-Jenna

From: Thuyen P Dinh  tpdinh@ucsd.edu
Date: 1 May 1998

I want to submit this piece of love letter.  It was written 
by Edgar Allan Poe, one of the famous poets, to his beloved
Helen Whitman.  Enjoy.  

                                       June 5, 1848
I have pressed your letter again and again to my lips,
 sweetest Helen---bathing it in tears of joy, or of a
"divine despair."  But I--who  so lately, in your presence,
vaunted the "Power of words"--of what avail are mere words
to me now?  Could I believe in the efficiency of prayer to
the God of Heaven, I would indeed kneel---humbly kneel--at
this most earnest epoch in my life--kneel in entreaty for
words--but for words that should disclose to you--that might
enable me to lay bare to you my whole heart.  All
thoughts--all passions seem now merged in that one consuming
desire--the mere wish to make you comprehend--to make you
see that for which there is no human voice--the unutterable
fervor of my love for you:  for so well do I know your
poetic nature, that I feel sure if I could but look down now
into the depths of my soul with your pure spiritual eyes you
could not refuse to speak to me what, alas! you still
resolutely leave unspoken--you would love me if only for the
greatness of my love.  Is it not something in this cold,
dreary world to be loved?  Oh, if I could but turn into your
spirit the deep--the true meaning which I attach to those
three words.
       Could I but have held you close to my heart and
whispered to you the strange secrets of its passionate
history, then indeed you would have seen that is was not and
never could have been in the power of any other than
yourself to move me as I am now moved--to oppress me with
this ineffable emotion--to surround and bathe me in this
electric light, illuminating and enkindling my whole
nature--filling my soul with glory, with wonder, and with
awe.  During our walk I said to you, "Helen, I love now--now
--fo the first and only time."  I said this I repeat in no
hope that you could believe me, but because I could not 
help feeling how unequal were the heart riches we might
offer each to each: I, for the first time, giving my all
once and forever.
      And now, in the most simple words I can command, let
me paint to you the impression made upon me  by your
personal presence.  As you entered the room, pale,
hesitating, and evidently oppressed at heart; as your eyes
rested for one brief moment upon mine, I felt, for the first
time in my life, and tremblingly acknowledged, the existence
of spiritual influences altogether out of the reach of
reason.  I saw that you were Helen-- my Helen--the Helen of
a thousand dreams.  She whom the Great Giver of all good had
preordained to be mine--mine only--if not now, alas! then
hereafter and forever in the Heavens--You spoke falteringly
and seemed scarcely conscious of what you said.  I heard no
words--only the soft voice more familiar to me than my
own...
      Then your hand rested within mine and my whole soul
shook with a tremulous ectasy; and then, but for the fear of
grieving or wounding, you, I would have fallen at your feet
in as pure--in as real a worship as was ever offered to Idol
or to God.
      And when afterwards, on those successive evenings of
all-heavenly delight, you passed to and fro about the
room--my brain reeled beneath the intoxicating spell of your
presence, and it was with no merely human senses that I
either saw or heard you.  It was my soul only that
distinguished you there.
      Let me quote to you a passage from your letter:
--Although my reverence for your intellect and my admiration
for your genius make me feel like a child in your presence,
you are not perhaps aware that I am many years older than
yourself."--But grant that what you urge were even true.  Do
you not feel in your inmost heart of hearts that the "Soul
love" of which the world speaks so often and so idly, is, in
this instance, at least, but the veriest--the most absolute
of realities? Do you not--I ask it of your reason, darling,
not less than of your heart--do you not perceive that it is
my divine nature--my spiritual being which burns and pants
to commingle with your own?  Has the Soul age, Helen? Can
Immortality regard time? Can that which began never and
shall never end, consider and few wretched years of its
incarnate life?
     And how am I to answer what you say of your personal
appearance?  Have I not seen you, Helen?  Have I not held
your hand in mine and looked steadily into your soul through
the crystal Heaven of your eyes?  Have I done all these
things? Or do I dream?
      Ah, Helen! My soul! -- what is it that I have been
saying to you -- to what madness have I been urging you?  I
who am nothing and have nothing.  But ah, darling! If I seem
selfish, yet believe that I truly, truly love you, and that
it is the most spiritual love that I speak, even if I speak
it from the depths of the most passionate of hearts. Think
-- oh, think for me, Helen, and for yourself...
      I would comfort you -- soothe -- tranquilize you.  You
would rest from care -- from all worldly perturbation.
      Write soon -- soon -- oh, soon!  Say to me those
coveted words that would turn Earth into Heaven.

                                 Edgar Allan Poe

From: Thuyen P Dinh tpdinh@ucsd.edu
Date: 1 May 1998

Jenna,

"If I could be anything in the world
I would be a tear, born in your eye,
living on your cheek, and dying in
your lips."

wow, your thoughts are imaginative, creative, and I'm speechless.  
It's been a while since the last time I read something like this.  
English is my second language, and I was so touched by your words.  
Keep writing.

"In the soul, love is a passion for reigning; in minds it is 
a sympathy; in the body it is a latent desire to possess the 
object loved." --La Rochefoucauld--

Date: 2 May 1998

Thuyen P Dinh-

Thank you very much for the compliment.  I must say that 
that you also are a very crative writer, I just read "I Love
You"  I hope to see more of your work here at the blender.

-Jenna

Date: 2 May 1998

Nelly Shmukler-

I just read "It's You But Me."  It is such a good poem.
I have no words o describe it.  I really do hope to 
see more of your work here soon. 

* "There is too much pain in the search for perfection.
     Come into a movie 5 min. late, leave some books 
     half finished, add a smudge to a drawing.  Find
     the beuty in what it is, not what it could be.  Don't
     allow 'perfect' to become a synonym for 'beautiful'
                                    -unknown
*found in the Blend-o-matic

"It's You But Me" is such a good example of that.

-Jenna

Date: 2 May 1998

Sorry Kirk!  I wasn't aware of that one. 
Thanks for correcting me and putting 
me on notice.   I just assumed you heard
it somewhere or read it somewhere and 
just didn't know who said it.  Sorry for 
assuming such a thing.  

-Jenna 

From: NELLY NElly303@yahoo.com
Date: 2 May 1998

DEAR JENNA,
first i would like to thank you very much for liking my poem. 
that really means a lot to me! sencondly, thank you for 
understaniding it. Im glad you read it and enjoyed it.
thanks again,
nelly

From: Jess (jesslee@smileyface.com)
Date: 3 May 1998

Right. I really agree that u mentioned about love is hardly
effortless. You really have to devote lots of time, energy, passion to build up, 
maintain the relationship, or it would very soon broken down.

From: ES
Date: 3 May 1998

To Misti Velvet Rainwater--

I just wanted to tell you that I think your poems are
fantastic.  I usually dont' have a lot of time to read
much stuff, but I always try to read yours.  I loved
"a piece of that hue." It struck a major chord with me 
and something I am involved with right now.  Please 
continue to submit to the Blender for all of us who can't
manage to write out feelings the way you do!

E.S.

From: peaches80302@goplay.com
Date: 4 May 1998

To all my fellow blenderites,
I'm pleading to anyone out there for some advice...
I have completely fallen for a great guy.
The problem?
Not only do I work with him,
but he's also my roommate!
Aaaarrrrggghhh!!!!!

From: Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 4 May 1998

ES-
  Thanks so much for your kind words. I am afraid that I
won't be able to submit any of my poems to the Blender
this summer as I don't have a computer. I've been using
the computers in the computer lab here on campus! But when
I resume school in the fall I'm sure I'll have approximately
two hundred new poems to submit. That's all I do- write 
weird poems and submit them to the Blender. And drink coffee. 
And study Spanish and science and children's literature occasionally. 
Thanks again!
 

From: Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 4 May 1998

How the hell did that happen? I only submitted my previous
comment once! Oh, well. It's a strange universe. Hasta luego.

From: Tony K
Date: 4 May 1998

Peaches,

About you falling for your co-worker whom you also live
with. I don't know how strongly you feel for this person
when you say you are really falling for them, but unless 
you have the ability to pick up and move quickly and you
can easily change jobs then: 

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU SERIOUSLY THINK ABOUT THE
CONSEQUENCES OF GETTING INTO THAT!  You could risk a whole
lot of heartache and trouble.  Trust me.  I know from
experience.  Think about the position you will put yourself
and your "potential new love" in if things don't work out.
It's like a relationship you can get away from if things
go badly.  It's a double whammy because you can't get away
at home and you can't get away at work.  If things don't
work out then one of you will have to move and probably
get a new job.  It's the worst kind of situation to find
yourself in.

Now if you really feel strongly for this person and you
honestly think this could be the "one", then maybe you
should consider moving out now and then dating.  If things
go well for a year or more, then go from there.

No easy situation but you'd better think ahead and be
prepared.

GOOD LUCK.

Date: 4 May 1998

Hey Kirk,

What do you think about a "Heart's Advice Column"?
We can have our fellow romantic Tony K be the host...

What do you think Tony?

Date: 4 May 1998

I know that question was directed to Tony
and Kirk but I think Tony should go for it and 
i think it would be a hit at the blender here!
Tony would make a great host ... aside from
his GREAT poetry he gives GREAT advice
too!

-Jenna

From: Tony K
Date: 4 May 1998

*laughing*

You guys embarrass me with all the compliments. :) I'm
always game to give advice but really though.  I may be
an open book and I may love to listen and give my two cents
to those who might want to hear it, but I don't claim to be
an expert in affairs of the heart and I am definitely not
qualified to give "official" advice.  But hey, if I can
help with my views on things, I'm always happy to pass
along my thoughts and opinions.

- Tony

From: peaches
Date: 5 May 1998

Tony,
Thank you so much for the great advice!
(I just wasn't able to think clearly on the situation)
And I agree that you would be a great host for a
hearts advice column on the blender here.
Thanks again.
-peaches

From: M. Meyer
Date: 5 May 1998

I was just wondering what all of you Blender-ites thought 
of my poem, "Hello", which was included under the "Prose" 
section on the front page of this month's issue.  I guess 
I'm just looking for feedback for my writing. I have a 
hard time deciding whether I think my writing is good
or not.  I also want to say that the poem "Raptured By You" 
by Tony K was absolutely beautiful.  Thank you for
sharing that.
--Mary

From: Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 5 May 1998

Just checked out a few new submissions-
LOVED broken rhythm by Julianne Snow and addiction by
Deli. I hope to see more poems by these two in the 
future!

From: ismene
Date: 5 May 1998

M. Meier

Your prose piece, "Hello," in my opinion, was good.  I 
thought that it captured your feelings quite well, and I 
especially liked the part about touch tingling.  The way you 
made things a bit fragmented is just my style, and so I 
enjoyed reading it very much.  Keep writing down every
little detail that's important to you.  Those pieces are
the ones which turn out to be my best writing.  Any thoughts
for me?  Good luck.

~ismene

From: alison
Date: 5 May 1998

just wanted to say that i'm really pleased
to see people commenting on specific blender
poems. it's tremendously helpful to have feedback
on one's writing !

From: Nikki
Date: 6 May 1998

Misti--
Once again, you've managed to submit some absolutely
incredible poetry. You should really look into getting
published. Keep up the good work, and I look forward to
more of your poems in the future.

Nikki

From: Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 7 May 1998

Nikki-
  Thanks! Poetry is my passion. I've been writing poems
ever since I was seventeen (I'm 25) and fell in love for
the first time. I would LOVE to publish a collection of my
poems someday, that is one of my dreams. For now I will 
continue to submit poems to the Blender. I feel so at home
here!

From: MISTI VELVET RAINWATER
Date: 7 May 1998

My two new favorite new submissions are The Faucet
(nowhere for me) by J.S. and Purple 
Scrunchee by Donovan Christoffer. I've submitted lots of
new stuff because after next week I won't be able to
visit the Blender for awhile. I'll miss reading all the
submissions and visiting the Board.

From: Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 7 May 1998

ALSO-
  I love Naked Girl by Nelly Shmukler and Changes to My
Being by Tony K (my favorite line is "a small army
of scented candles"). Great wording, Tony. The poem is 
full of beautiful, sensuous imagery.

From: peaches
Date: 7 May 1998

I love your poem, 'Raptured By You'.
Beautiful.

From: Saffire
Date: 7 May 1998


To: Tony K.

I really liked your poem "Missed Connections".  You really
captured the elusiveness of life and how you never know who
you are going to meet around that next corner.  It's amazing
how a person can touch someone's life in such a real way
 without ever meeting. I look forward to reading more.  :)

Saffire



 

Date: 11 May 1998

Just wondering...what's this fascination with Tony K's
poetry?  It's as though he's the poetic equivalent of
Leonardo DeCaprio around here.  Not everything is great, 
people.  Leonardo made some crummy movies, too.
-Fred

From: Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 12 May 1998

Fred,
  What do you have to offer this website, besides snide
remarks and references to an overrated pretty boy actor?
Some poetry of your own, perhaps, or maybe some 
CONSTRUCTIVE criticism? Just curious.

From: Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 12 May 1998

Oh, and it's DiCaprio, not DeCaprio. How 'bout them Bulls?

From: Fred
Date: 12 May 1998

Wow Misti, no need to go turbo on me.  I was actually on
one of the Blender's digests, under a different name.
Expressing my opinion on the "adulation" is all I wanted to
do. 

Constructive?  Psh.  Who cares.  I actually happen to like
your stuff, but even so... there are a couple that I DON'T
like.  But that's MY opinion.  What do the typos matter?
Before you pettily pick on mine, do some constructive
criticism for some of the folks who should practice safe
text and other typo prevention measures.  Expressions of
romantic love are one thing, maulings of the english
vocabulary are something else.

You of all people should understand the use of metaphors
and similes in writing.  Hence, I chose DiCaprio, an
overrated, pretty boy actor.  My opinion on some of Tony K's
work?  Overrated and superficially pretty.  But that's my
opinion.  Sorry if it's not the popular one.

And the Bulls are winning, what can I say?  Have a nice
holiday, while you're away from the Blender.  We'll miss
your fiery self.

From: Tony K.
Date: 12 May 1998

To each his own.  We are all individuals with different tastes.
So what if Fred's taste differ.  I don't write my stuff for 
Fred's approval.  
Fred has a right to his own opinion, as
does everyone.  And it's not about being "rated".  This is
not a popularity contest to see who can get the best
ratings on their work.  This is about a creative outlet.  
This is about expressing yourself and having the guts
to post what you've got, knowing full well that some may
like it, some may love it, some may not care for it, and
some may hate it.  For those that like my stuff, I'm happy
to share.  For those that don't like my stuff, then don't
bother yourself with reading it.  Find something you do
like.

From: Eve
Date: 13 May 1998

Jenna,

Thanks again! :) I fell off the web for a bit. 
You know life in gereral. Have read some of your 
work and enjoyed them. Have to find time to go back 
and look for more. I agree, with " die on your lips" 
excellent!!! Moving!! Point me in the right direction. 

dee33eve@hotmail.com

From: Eve
Date: 13 May 1998

Opps...sorry Jenna! I did press return Kirk. 

From: Eve
Date: 13 May 1998

Misti,

I have enjoyed reading your work. You have some excellent pieces. "Channels" ...
the lost invitation!!! loved it!
"Pretence is a Fence"...back to me, wild gypsy, imperfect smile, fierce 
independence!!!!! Inner strenght!! Believe in it, life by it!!! 
You will be missed this summer! Keep a journal!! :)

From: Eve
Date: 13 May 1998

Kirk...keeper of the page!

I did return (laughing) sorry!
Wanted to let you know
how much I enjoy this site!
Thanks for the hard work!
Loved "Sacraments"
ps. didnt recieve e mail either

From: TruLeigh....URS_TruLeigh@hotmail.com
Date: 13 May 1998


Dear Tony K and other poets,

Some people like me as Rennie Lorca.  Others feel sorry for
me as Elaine Loraine d'Orgain.  They are shocked by me as
AnnLeigh Clair McGregor.  They weep for me as Ali Cecilie 
Sonder.  They think I am too brazen as Maggie Mink.  They 
are stunned that I am also Gib McRae Cairn.  They cannot
figure if I am young, or an old soul as Ullie Fitzhugh. 
They laugh at me as Mumsleigh Sinclair. They leave TruLeigh
alone!  Under all these names, I have gotten both good and
mediocre reviews over the past thirty years.  I have also 
been published as a journalist under my own name many, many
times.  As you said, people will love your work, and they
will hate you...they will be envious, and they will learn
from you.  The fact that you post your work shows your 
ability to feel and have emotions that everyone else will
hide.  I salute you.  I read your work.  I see your life 
and your progress.  Bravo for you, Tony...and for the rest
of you who post here.  Never forget that somewhere there is
that rave review that will make it ALL worth it.  I have
had many in my life.  Each inspires me to take out a pen
and write again.  Not all of what I write can be posted on
this site, but I have enjoyed the other poets and their 
honesty here...keeps me coming back..........TruLeigh

From: R.Berry  oldwyzard@aol.com
Date: 14 May 1998

I'm trying to find the poem by Tennyson that was recited in
part in the movie Alice B.Toklas. Has to do with a flower.
Any help greatly appreciated. E-mail thoughts to oldwyzard@aol.com.
                              Thanks

From: Eve
Date: 16 May 1998

Rennie,

Lost souls...A few sentences...
with such impact.
"the earth wobbles on its axel"
entire sensation expressed 
in six words! Touched me!

Take the time to read,
Kevin Greggains, "Dreaming of Angels"
Reflections of...all these emotions.

From: Rennie
Date: 16 May 1998

Dear Eve,

Thank you.  I neglected to write that I have also worked
with haiku and other forms during the past thirty years.
Octavio Paz, Mexico's recently deceased great poet, wrote
about each word carrying weight in poetry.  I went from 
writing long, detailed verse, to more concise expression,
after working with haiku.
 
This was my most explored thought in love and romance poetry, 
losing a soulmate.  The idea was profound to me. I
had profound images even thinking about it.  It took many
years to transfer some of them to paper.

Again, thank you for your comment.  Thanks to you, I have
written a few more lines...maybe for someone to see 
someday............Rennie, TruLeigh, and the gang

From: Jaime
Date: 17 May 1998

I love this blender this month Kirk! Especially the ramble.  
I must say I was a bit disappointed in some of the survey 
comments though.  But that's just me...

From: Libby taylor
Date: 18 May 1998

You need more women to men poems about how much they 
love each other as boyfriend to girlfriend.

From: J.S.
Date: 22 May 1998

Misti Velvet Rainwater,
   Wow, I really didn't think anyone noticed my writings!
Coming from you, it's a big compliment!  "broken rhythm"
was written about three years ago, and the one I submitted
here was a very shortened version.  "The Faucet (nowhere
for me)" was something I came up with on the spot that
day, meant for my ex.  I guess you can see a general
pattern of where my submissions have gone, concerning
that area of my life...
   Anyway, I'd just like to say that your material has
such feeling to it, it's incredible!  It seems to just
flow from you- I wish I could do that!  We'll miss you
here this summer!  :o)

From: moonbeam.
Date: 23 May 1998

I have just discovered this site  and think it is great...
it is very full of emotion and charm...could not stop reading.....
I am passing this site on to all my friends.
keep up the wonderful job you are doing!!!

From: Terry
Date: 23 May 1998

Just felt the need to comment on your comments regarding
the nature of love...agree with most of it...can't believe
that there is only "one" love out there in this world for each of us....
else we spend far too much of our already short time on earth 
without true happiness...but I cant buy'
your comment on chance vs fate...although I dont believe our
lives have already been decided...I do think that things 
happen for a reason...that we must not negate that we are in
certain places at certain times to experience certain
things...to ignore those things is to look a gift horse in the mouth.

From: Rennie Lorca and Maggie Mink
Date: 23 May 1998


Dear Kirk,

I see that I have had trouble with the "r" on "your" in 
several of my verses over the months.  I think that I have
finally learned my lesson about eating cookies over the 
keyboard.  Can you go in and fix these errors, or do I 
need to resubmit the verses typed correctly?  The two are
GRATEFUL TO MY HEART and SIMPLE PLEASURES.

From: jay702@hotmail.com
Date: 24 May 1998

these pomes freakin suck @ss!!!!  get some macking poems 
so i can get with my girl for a good lunch!

From: erin
Date: 25 May 1998

Jay,

GROW UP!

From: Kirk, Blender Keeper
Date: 28 May 1998

SORRY!

Something happened to my comments script,
and the comments page was blank. I may have
lost a few days of blender board chat when I
restored from a backup.  

I wrote the script for feedback a long time ago, 
and it looks like it may be time to double check
how robust it is...

From: L.Penny  villians@hotmail.com
Date: 29 May 1998

To Shadygirl:

I read "Intoxicated" a minute ago.  
It was great.  I know that taste.

L.

From: The Other Guy
Date: 29 May 1998

To: Tony K...
You write great poems about how much you love a girl 
who YOU cheated on repeatedly for 6 years.  Now that 
she has finally left you...you feel compelled to 
write poems about how YOU are hurt.  That sounds to 
me like another literary term...IRONY. How do I know 
all this?  I AM the other guy.  I watched you kissing 
other girls when we were out at bars together.  I 
turned her continuous propositions away for six 
months...out of respect for you and our friendship.  
But you disrespected her in front of me.  She is too 
good for you.  Rest assured...I will treat her right.  
So instead of blaming her, and instead of blaming 
me (by keying the paint on my car)...look in the mirror,
there is where the blame should go.

- The Other Guy

From: Trina
Date: 29 May 1998

I thought some of the poetry was good, 
but most of it wasn't. This kind of love poetry 
just didn't appeal to me.

From: Tony K (tny@ix.netcom.com)
Date: 30 May 1998

To: The Other Guy(a.k.a CookieDough),

A sad state of affairs.  Wouldn't you agree?  
At first when I saw your comment, I had no desire to lower
myself to even respond to you.  But by posting here for the 
world to see almost makes feel like I must now answer to everyone.  
So I shall.  I have a clear conscience.
What about you? If you did, why post the comment?
You think you understand? How much do you really know, 
but what she has told you?  First, let me begin by saying
that your comment about my cheating on her is quite
incorrect.  Repeatedly for 6 years?  Absolutely not.  Does
that make you feel better to believe that?  Does it help
relieve your guilt for what you have done?  You watched me
kissing other girls while we were out at bars?  Exaggerated,
I say.  You saw one incident which was missinterpreted by 
you and her.  You say you did nothing and that you turned
her away.  You, I and all of your lost friends know that to
be untrue.  I have in my possession about 75 e-mails between
you and her (among other things) that tell quite a different
story.......CookieDough.
Now.  As far as blame is concerned? Blame is pointless now.
I never claimed to be perfect and I have openly admitted to
making mistakes.  Just look at my poems and webpage.  I'm
not angry at you or her.  I'm not anything but greatly
dissapointed in the both of you.  I trusted you.  I really
trusted you.  At worst, I have lost all respect for you
and her.  Keying your car?  I wouldn't lower myself to such
petty acts.  Look around, CookieDough.  I am not the only
person who you have betrayed.  Many people are angry with
you over this.  You two have hurt more than just me.

So CookieDough.  How is your conscience?  Mine is clear.  I
may be a very hurt and sad person, but I am at least happy
with who I am.  I am a good person.  A better person than
you or her.  It's just too bad that I honestly love her.
Dispute that if you want.  It doesn't matter now.  I hope
you two are able to be happy......just please leave me alone
and get out of my life.  Enough damage has been done.

PS> You don't even have the guts to post your message with
your real name.  If you feel you are so in the right, why
hide?

From: Bystandard
Date: 30 May 1998

The poems in question:

http://www.lovestories.com/templates/profile.cfm?poetid=28&wherefrom=POEM

PS>  I think "Cookiedough" is a jerk.

From: eric foster ericf@redshift.com
Date: 30 May 1998

i think woman are great and tony's an idiot and the government should fall

From: Eric Foster Ericf@redshift.com
Date: 30 May 1998

sorry all lost it for a moment
The world is bad and it makes me mad does anyone
know how i can go about getting out of this land

From: Eric Foster Ericf@redshift.com
Date: 30 May 1998

Sorry tone. Didn't mean to bag. Please foregive :(

From: Tony K.
Date: 30 May 1998

*laughing*

Eric, you fool.  I love ya like a brother, but quit joking
around.  This is serious.

- Tony

From: Eric Foster Ericf2redshift.com
Date: 30 May 1998

From: Eric Foster Ericf@redshift.com
Date: 30 May 1998

Dear Cookie-Whatever

You don't know me but at least i use my real name.
Let me tell ya in a matter of week's "I" will be in Atlanta
and then we will settle all this between you and tony. Unlike 
you I stand by my friends and sexual appel of there
girlfriends does NOT hender my judgement. You come on the 
web bringing you garbage out in the public like a child 
and so I have no choice but to do the same. Unlike tony
i'm not always intelectual(?) however I DO know how to 
solve problems. Tony has asked me to be corgiel as to not 
cause him more grief,but when i see someone betray
friendship by scamming on his friends girlfriend and soon
to be wife I can't help my self. If you had any intellegence
you would realize that if misty was trying to sleep with you
while having a boyfriend then you would see that she has no 
morals if you don't believe me ask my roomate  Rob Ahbrams
(name sound familiar misty). I think you should talk to your 
whatever and get the 411 on me cause when I get there and if 
your still talking this mess you're going to have a real bad 
day. Be advised tony has no part of this and does not condone 
this. However this is a free country and I have made this 
my buisness,. If you were in CA you wouldn't be breathing right 
now but for your sake I don't like five-o and I'm not into 
thrashing computer geek's. however you give me reason and 
I'll make exception.

    As for your @*!*@*! many people in her home town know the 
    truth about her and as far as I'm concerned you've already been 
    punished cause now she'll mouch money off you. You think you 
    have all figured out but in reality you don't have a frigging 
    clue. You've known her what less than a year and it seem's like think 
    you could write her biography. HA! your a joke and obviously the puntang 
    melted your brain. And at that it's worn you should visit monterey and 
    talk to some of her friends. mayben even her cousin seanwill give you the 411. 
    So be advised do your whatever and stay far far away from tony or 
    you'll deal with me k.

                                   God Speed,
                                       Your worst nighmare
                                        Eric A. Foster

From: Janelle deCelis morningstar43@hotmail.com
Date: 30 May 1998

The other guy, I think you're an infantile, immature, demonic,  jerk.  
I give props to Eric!  I have not known Tony for a long time but I can 
tell that he's a great guy.  I've never met him before yet I know that 
his mind is way superior to yours.  I think it's pathetic that you have 
to bring your dirty laundry outside for the whole world to see.  
Get a life!  I really hope that Eric kicks your mugged buttocks.  
I don't know much about this love problem of his but I do know that 
his heart is true.  I don't know if I can say the same about yours. 
It's sad the way you stole his girl!  Now that's pathetic.  I mean there 
are so many women in this world and you had to steal your friend's girl? 
What goes around comes around and I hope one day some girl will leave you 
for someone else and you'll feel the grief Tony is feeling.  Maybe even worse.  
You deserve it rat.  Actually, you're lower than a rat.  I say you're nothing 
but the dirt I step on.  Do us a favor and get a life! 

--Janelle

From: Ullie
Date: 30 May 1998

What will all this matter a hundred years from now? 
The verses will still be love poetry because the world
loves poetry and someone will save it.  And, the threats
will just become a matter of public record, stored away
in some moldy archive somewhere.  Look ahead...always
look ahead, and think about consequences in your lives.

From: JenJen
Date: 30 May 1998

WOW! Kirk, looks like you have a real life soap opera
unfolding on your web site.

Tony:  Keep your chin up!  I can tell that you are a better
person than that scum bucket, cookiedough (the other guy). 
Don't waste you time with losers like him.  Looks like
you have some REAL friends like Eric and Janelle.  A guy
like you should have no trouble finding a new girl that
deserves you.  "She" definitely doesn't.

- Jen

From: Janelle
Date: 30 May 1998

I totally agree with Jen.  You do deserve more Tony and 
I hope those people get what's coming to them.  I know 
you still love her and no amount of time can ever erase 
her memory.  I just hope that the pain lessens each day.  
She deserves "the other guy" coz they're both fools.  
Not only did they hurt on of the sweetest people on Earth, 
they also hurt one of their friends.  And I think that's 
really sad.  I know that someday she'll regret what she's 
done to you and hopefully by that time your heart will 
belong to someone new.

-Janelle

From: Eric Foster Ericf@redshift.com
Date: 30 May 1998

Jen And Jannelle 

        Thank you for your comment's and if you could only
know how right you both are.

From: Janelle
Date: 31 May 1998

Dear Eric,

You're welcome.. I really admire Tony coz he's such a great poet. 
I can't stand seeing someone hurt him like that.  I'm glad he 
has a friend like you.

From: Eve (dee33eve@hotmail.com)
Date: 31 May 1998

Misti,

just read "Moonlight & Red Roses"...
Such emotion, so intense!!
The more I read your work, 
the more I admire your talent.

"beyond repair"...remember "the gypsy"
the strenght you wrote of...
... a prayer for your pain...

From: Eve (dee33eve@hotmail)
Date: 31 May 1998

Tony,

Agree with Ullie.
In your own words,
"She was your lesson."

Knowing you through your words.
You are strong enough to move
on "lesson learned"...this
experience painful, I know.
But in the end you will be
stronger from it. Every negative, has
a positive. Sorry for the pain they
brought to you here! Keep the faith!! :)

From: Eve (dee33eve@hotmail)
Date: 31 May 1998

Truleigh...and the gang...:)

Just read "The Wait" enjoyed this
piece also! Tru...read letter, telling
of all the "gang"...Am so curious...
Why? all the different names?
Each name a different, emotional view?
A way of separting these? Mystified!
Need to know! Or is this the effect
you wish to have...HM??? :)

From: Eve (dee33eve@hotmail.com)
Date: 31 May 1998

TruLeigh,

Had some ?'s for you.
Tried e-mail, TruLeigh@hotmail.com
Came back...?

Date: 31 May 1998

Tony-

You are lucky to have Eric in your life.  I have not known you 
too long but through your poetry i do feel as if i know you
in a weird emotionally way.   Misty sounds like a bitch 
(no offensei know you love her and all) and I think that you 
deserves much better.  Someone that can keep up
with your intelligence and free living life.  She is the 
only one that is going to look like an Idiot (not to mention
"the other guy" who already made himself look like
one)  She thinks she can strut her stuff with whoever she wants
and she does it knowing (thinking) you will always be there.
Well when she decides she had enough time with her
fun and games she will be back and she will be the one hurting
when she realizes what she gave up, what she will possible 
never have again, and what a beautiful person you really are.
And as for the "other guy" saying he will treat her right, if he 
reallly wanted to treat her right he would give her back her
mind, let her figure out what SHE wants instead of telling her 
lies about you and persuading her t othink another way.  
And no one is 'too good' for you.  Your standards are 
set high and that is where they should be.  And you are 
much more of value then he will ever be.  You said you 
openly admitted to your mistakes and he is the one 
that can't even openly admit to being jealous of how much
she still loves you and he just sits there telling her lies hoping
he will one day STEAL her heart from you.  Tony, you have 
her heart, you make the move.  It will all work out.

-Jenna       

Date: 31 May 1998

From: Eric Foster Ericf@redshift.com
Date: 31 May 1998

Through life there are many obsticales.
Love, so easy to get hurt yet everyone wants to find it.
How could somthing so great hurt so bad?
through time heals all.
but who wants to wait.

Eric A. Foster

From: TruLeigh
Date: 31 May 1998

Dear Eve,

You can pick up an address from this URL if you have any 
more questions after seeing the site:
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/1250/index.html
I guess you would say that you are dealing with a totally 
creative person.  It is sometimes easier to create and
write in character, just as I have acted.  There are many
more poems by each of these "personalities"...I just would
not be posting them on this particular site because of 
content or theme.  The additional verses would probably
make it very clear the real difference in characters in
these verses.  It is like speaking a foreign language, you
catch yourself thinking in it.  The same with the time
frames for some of these characters from TruLeigh and the
"gang"...As a person, I was into too many trains of thought, 
too much energy...really too much for one editor to deal 
with at the time...so the multiple characters made it 
easier on my editor in the beginning.  I just continued
using the multiple characters without actually being
multiple personalities.  Look closely, and you will see
some of the characters blend into each other; and, look 
again and see the real differences when you have a chance
at the dragoncairn site.........TruLeigh and the "gang"

From: Janelle
Date: 31 May 1998

Tony,

I hope that you know that you're really special.  
I'm just sorry that your ex didn't see that.  It's her loss.  
I know that your soul mate is out there somewhere.  
You just haveto find her.  Never let people walk all over you.  
I should know that.  In my opinion, she's the fool and not you.  
I don't believe that u could cheat on her.  

-Janelle

From: TruLeigh
Date: 31 May 1998

Dear Eve,

Wouldn't it throw you, without some background, to know
that the same writer posted these verses in the same
month?

INDECISION....LOST SOULMATE....COUNSELING....
ALWAYS BELOVED....GRATEFUL TO MY HEART....THE WAIT

Now, try to figure out my love life like poor Tony's here.
Doesn't work, does it?...........TruLeigh and the "gang"

From: Eve
Date: 1 June 1998

Dear TruLeigh,

Thanks for the info. I am looking forward
to reading all of these works. Finding
the similarites/differences...the blending.
Perhaps a medium, you.

You asked if it would throw me, knowing
all came from one? Actually, no.
Your letter explained alot of my questions.
The personalities, trians off thought, thinking
in foreign languages. (thinking of away to explain)
I have written pieces, that come from different
sides of myself. I believe we all have these
different "multiple personalities"...
(lover, friend, parent, observer, philosopher,
the darkside...endless..)
Sometimes we just dont show them, or are
afraid to. Wanting to be seen in the one
we believe looks best to others. 

This is why I am so drawn to your work.
I admire your ability and courage to
show all!! Your letter, in many ways...
A key to my "block"...Thank You!!

****************************************
"You can learn much from those who 
have gone before you. But never be afraid
to step off the accepted path and head off
in your own direction if your heart tells 
you that it's the right way for you"
                          -Edmond O'Neill-
****************************************
ps. "Always Beloved"... the emotion,
left me speechless. Read it over, and over.
Maybe after I read more of you. I will 
be able to tell the observation from the
experience...

                  thanks again Tru :)

From: TruLeigh
Date: 1 June 1998

Dear Eve,

If you cannot write about yourself, look at your friends,
family, classmates, co-workers, and write about them as 
you honestly feel they are feeling.  Go even farther, 
create a character that mirrors a part of yourself. Give
that character free-rein and watch yourself writing from
another direction...never dealing with a "block" again.
Works for me, may not for you.  In acting, the show must 
go on...treat your writing the same way.  You are driven
to write or you would not be searching here.
.......................Yours truly, TruLeigh and the gang

From: Julie
Date: 1 June 1998

Very interesting website.  Bizarre love triangle... 
Split personalities... A dyslexic tough guy... 

hmmm.  

"Sybil, the Mad Love Poet and the men who love them.
On the next Springer."

From: Eric F
Date: 1 June 1998

 Hay Jewlie,
      Yoar rite evierie 1 has thire own ponion and they're intitled, So here's mine.
          You Are A BIG DODO HEAD. You don't know Sh@!
about me. I wrote that way cause I was mad ands trying to
hurry. Now to shut you up I've been among other thing's a
regional manager for at one time the largest educational
s/w dist. in the u.s.. So I would ambiguosly diagree and 
on that note do you realize that if i  was to suffer ANY
damages physical or financally because what your accusation's 
via the web i could supeona your records 
use them against you in court and sue for damages and
win. What about them bull.

      Hi! everyone else. Ahy tony you see this Sh@!?
                                          

                       Your's Truly 
                          DDamnman

From: Eric f 
Date: 2 June 1998

Dear julie 
sorry didn't mean to be mean don't like being called names
and am not dyxlexic (however spellt I use spell check
when needed) do you know what that word mean sounded
like you meant to say i couldn't spell? True not best speller
in the worl but that's why they make spell check for folk's
like me and grammer check too.
Friends?
Eric f

From: Julie
Date: 2 June 1998

To Eric:

My, my.  I only jest.  Don't take things so personally.
If you can't laugh at yourself, who CAN you laugh at, eh?
Just trying to lighten things up, but hey, so much for that.
Take it easy and try not to burst a blood vessel...

Anyhoo, sure.  Friends, why not.

Date: 2 June 1998

*laughing*  DODO HEAD?  *laughing some more*

How very... eloquent.

*browsing back to read romantic poetry*

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