By heather   dreamheather@hotmail.com
Date: 1 May 1998

Questions in Time

For ten days, while I held you,
I gave you everything I had.
But I had so much to figure out,
with a past life still newly in ruins, 
needing major help.
Everything I had I gave,
but, I didn't have enough.

You wanted and needed so much more than I,
at the time, had in me to give.
For what was going on, at the time,
I was expecting way too much.
But not from you.
Whether you believe it or not,
you gave so much more than I could ever, to you, explain.
A lifetime would not be long enough, to make you understand.
Yes, I was expecting more.
I was expecting more, much more, from myself then I got.

It caused such disappointment.
There were times, I saw it in your eyes.
At others I heard it in your words.
But I felt too, within your arms.
But not with you was I disappointed.
Revealing yourself while in my arms,
made me feel honored, trusted, loved.
The only one I was disappointed with, was me.

But now time has finally done it's job.
I have had time to think, reflect, look back.
Yes, I expected way too much for the position I was in.
One life wasn't finished, the next had yet to begin.
But now, today, that new life is very nearly built.
And look, I find you here again.
I'm just so unsure why.
Unsure now, what you want, if anything.
I used to know, at least I think I did.

You once called me sweetie all the time.
(How I loved it Wayne)
You also once said you loved me.
(How those words would make me melt, make me purr)

Please God. Can that still be?
And if it is,
what are we doing, what comes next?
And if it isn't,
then I'm sorry, but I have to ask.
What are you still doing here? What do you want?
I now really need to know.
So I can decide, from here,
what to do, where to go.

Questions, questions.
Needing answers.
Do I dare ask them? Can I?
Would you answer them?

I bet you have questions too.
My answers to your questions may surprise you.
If....
     ....you dare to ask them of me.

We will see........