By z
Date: 18 May 1998

Being an irrational woman

Why do I have to make it so hard for you?  You could obviously see that I was
depressed, with the big clue being the unending leak of optical saltwater.

But see, I couldn't put my feelings into words.  Because I wanted you to read
my mind, I wanted you to make the bad go away without having to spill all the
gory details of my self-centered melodrama. You're supposed to KNOW that I
needed you.  You were supposed to know that "nothing" meant everything. 

I guess I should've been upset to the point of a dramatic exit when you nodded
your head and said that you understood that I wanted to be alone.  Actually,
I did get upset.  I should've just said, "No. I need you. I need you here
with me now." Being the irrational woman that I am, I think that if I have to
tell you, then what's the point of this whole self-serving, foolish scene that
I created?

I wanted everything, but deserve nothing. But what did I expect? You can't read my mind.