The Blender Board

From: Kirk, blender-keeper <keeper@loveblender.com>
Date: 30 March 1998

Hi guys--
hope you all survived the changeover to 
http://loveblender.com ok-- I thought it was time
the site got its own domain, no longer having 
a web home as part of Alien Bill Productions...

From: saffire2000@yahoo.com
Date: 30 March 1998

Kirk,
This is in regards to your review/ramble of the movie 
"Titanic".  I only saw the film last week and was waiting
until after I sawit to read your review.  I did however learn from the 
board that Jack died.  I am grateful to that because I would have been 
far sadder if it had been a shock to me.  Braveheart was a shock for me, 
don't get me wrong I know my history and I knew that William Wallace 
was killed but...well, that's another story.

I, too thought about Jack's death for days after seeing the movie.  As
romantics I think we believe that love will conquer all and we can see
past the "pop culture" idea a pristine first love rather than the cooking
dinner and doing laundry type of longlasting love.  I think we all really
wanted Jack to live and grow old wit h Rose.  I kept wondering if Jack was
really dead and not unconcious when she let him go.  What if she had
gotten him on the boat and warmed up?  What if...? 


It wasn't about "dying young and leaving a beautiful body" but what Rose
learned from Jack.  He said at dinner that you make your own luck and even
when he was in the frigid waters after the boat sank he said that winning
the tickets was the best thing th at had ever happened to him.  It's about
making the mos tof the time you have. 

Jack had to die.  Just as much as it wasn't about "dying young" the
Titanic wasn't about Jack and Rose.  Like Rose said some 80-odd years
later 1500 people went into the water that night and only one boat came
back.  How many Jacks and Roses died that nig ht?  In order for us (the
audience) to understand the immensity of the tragedy we had to ralize who
these people were.  In the characters of Jack and Rose the audience was
allowed to feel apart of the grandness of the Titanic and a part of the
pain.  If J ack had lived happily ever after I don't think that the
enormity of the accident would have been realized as intensely. 

And what happened to "you jump, I jump"?  How could Rose let Jack put her
on the door/raft and let him stay in the frigid waters?  I don't think I
would have been able to do that. 

Finally, if you have the soundtrack read what James Cameron wrote about
the movie, the soundtrack and James Horner.  The last part is very Love
Blender-ish.  Thanks, Saffire

Date: 30 March 1998

Sapphire, I've yet to see Titanic but about what you said in your entry
about Braveheart: William Wallace was never killed like in the movie.  He
lived to be an old man, living his last years in quiet peace, I believe. 
Still like the movie, though. 

Date: 31 March 1998

Love

From: Tony K
Date: 31 March 1998

I never knew I was equipped to love someone soooo much.
Why do I feel like I'm not equipped to handle it?
Where's the @#&!%=3^; manual?!?!

From: moose
Date: 1 April 1998

 I wish there WAS a manual. Don't we all? Things are so (#@$^&$&^@#
confusing most of the time that decision - making becomes a paralyzing
process. It's like it's impossible to make the right choice, they're all
always wrong. 

From: Nikki
Date: 1 April 1998

To Tony:

The beauty of love and being in love is the feeling of overwhelming,
breath-taking, knock-you-senseless lack of control. Isn't it wonderful?
You don't need a manual, just a heart. 

From: Julia
Date: 2 April 1998

No sun,no wish.
              Too sad...
You went away & left a track -
                          A feeling...
No soul,no you.
              It hurts me...
You took my dreams away
                      involuntarily...
No star,no love.
               I feel lonely...
Why's the Hope so cruel?!   

From: Tony K
Date: 2 April 1998

Nikki,
Did you read my poem "Raptured By You"?  That is love.
When you find yourself so overwhelmed by feelings like 
never before and they seem so uncontrollable, you get scared
and confused.  You don't know how to handle it.  You make
mistakes.  Do you take the risk and listen to your heart?
Or do you suppress and control to protect yourself from
the unknown?  I've done the latter and it screwed everything
up.  So now my advice:  The hell with it. RISK IT ALL. 
LISTEN TO YOUR HEART.

"Who ever new that love would prove itself so hard a master?"

From: Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 2 April 1998

I'm just wondering why the April Blender has not yet been
posted. I'm kinda anxious and kinda pissed about it.

From: Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 2 April 1998

Tony-
   GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!

From: Nikki
Date: 2 April 1998

That love is all there is, is all we know of love--
Emily Dickinson

Tony--
Just be careful that the person you're falling for is
prepared to toss out a net and catch you on the way.

From: crickettt@hotmail.com
Date: 2 April 1998

Sometimes, falling into love means daring to put the "rule" book away and
just listen to your heart. 

This is my favorite site.

From: Tony K
Date: 2 April 1998

Misti,

"Getting A Life" is the whole idea!!!!
What's life without someone you love?!?!  Incomparable.

By the way, love your name.

Nikki,

I was too careful (self-protecting) for six years and it's backfired
bigtime on me. So what's left but to just put everyting on the table.
Whatever happens, happens. 

From: Me
Date: 2 April 1998

to Misti Velvet Rainwater:

Chill out..it's only the 2nd of April..give Kirk some time...a site like
this takes a lot of time and work.. 

From: Me
Date: 2 April 1998

oh Kirk..as a note, you might want to mess with the form on
the comments submission page a bit...it's deceiving the way
the text wraps around in the box, but not when you submit.
I know you say press return at the end of every line, but
it's still deceiving..^_^ good work on the site!

From: Phantaci  g1na@hotmail.com  icq- 1306506
Date: 2 April 1998

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.  It's the
source of all true art and science. 
                  --Albert Einstein

and that is what love is.  love is mysterious.  I believe that love is a
beginning to everything. 

Set me a seal upon your heart.
As a seal upon your arm;
For love is as strong as death,
Its flames are flames of fire,
A most vehement flame.
Many waters cannot quench love,
Nor can the floods drown it.

From: Nikki
Date: 2 April 1998

Tony--

Good luck. I sincerely hope that everything works out how you would like
it to. It's a brave thing, laying everything out on the table, but at
least it gets to the point. However, think about this: would you rather
lay everything out on the table and leave no surprises, or wait and
receive each new feeling like a small gift along the way? 
 Sometimes it's better to take things as they come.
 More power to you if you can handle all those emotions at once.

From: Lollipop
Date: 2 April 1998

There is more to life than romantic love and orgasm.
 There is also "The Price is Right", regular unleaded at 
eighty-seven cents a gallon, Easter M&Ms, and laser tag, 
just to name a few. I love this site and I really dig
some of the poems, but I'm sick to death of trite love-sick
poems that lack style and irony. They're like margarita mix
without the tequila. Excuse me if I puke.

From: Rosalita
Date: 2 April 1998

Right on, girlfriend. AMEN and all the people say it!!!

From: TruLeigh
Date: 2 April 1998


Dear Lolli and Rosalita,

The world is full of poetry web sites.  You have descended on this
particular one (The Love Blender) and decided to pass judgment.  If you
want gas and Easter candy, and many of the other things you mentioned, you
should go where you are sure to find them ...not lost here.  You show your
training by undercutting those who will use this site for exactly what it
is best for...honing their craft.  Good poets, like good actors, must hone
their work. Sometimes, it takes many presentations to finally bring a wor
k to true fruition.  In many months, I don't remember seeing Lollipop or
Rosalita tagged on any of the poetry and verse on this site.  Come in and
create a fray or a ruckus, or see if you can join the group here that is
perfecting their skills. Many great poets were not recognized in their
lifetimes. Some were only recognized for collected works, with just a few
choice lines that might be memorable to us now.  Some poets are being
recirculated again, hundreds of years after they lived. Go study poetry
and writing, then come back here and appreciate the souls who have been
braver than yourself to step forward and bare themselves and their
feelings.  Buy yourself some good Cognac for a change. 

 From: Tony K.
Date: 2 April 1998

*chuckle* 

I find all this so amusing.  But a few years ago I would have looked upon
all this, including my own pathetic writing, and laughed and possibly
puked as well.  I few years ago, I was immune to true love.  It was all
about partying, having fun, one night stands, and yes all the little,
meaningless things in life such as cheap gas, laser tag, and all that.  I
now laugh at those who can't possibly relate to the stuff I write about
now and who have absolutely no idea what's in store for them if and when
it happens to them.  For those who never experience it, I feel sorry. 

From: Shamrock
Date: 2 April 1998

Is there enough criticism here?  It wouldn't be so bad if
some of it was constructive.  At the top of the board 
someone's ripping on Saffire about Braveheart and that 
wasn't even the point of what she was saying.  And if you 
don't like "love-sick" poems then skip them.  This is a site 
for everyone to hone and share their craft like TruLeigh 
said.  Tony is right, we are all in different stages and 
some of want the romantic love stuff and some of us are 
looking for the M n'M's.  How narrow minded are we?

Date: 4 April 1998

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? 
Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people
are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting
for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the
trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."
  - Erica Jong

Date: 4 April 1998

that erica jong quote is _great_

From: Jenna Holland
Date: 5 April 1998

Does anyone know when the 
April blender of Digest is going 
to be up?

And I too agree with that
Erica Jong quote.

It is so right on 

From: Nikki
Date: 5 April 1998

Tisiphone--
"Unrequited" is beautiful.

From: Elizabeth Cardoso
Date: 6 April 1998

A letter that I wrote to my future husband while he is in Texas and I am in British Columbia.

My Dearest Paul,
My love for you tonight is so deep and tender that it seems
to be outside myself as well.  I love you...I love you.  I am 
surprised to see how much my life is yours!  With what 
rapidity it rushes towards your heart.  Could I see you
without passion, or be absent from you without pain?  Your
tender faithfulness has been a rock of security and
comfort.  You have intensified all colours, heightened all 
beauty, deepened all delight.  Now in the quiet of the 
evening and in the warmth of the bed a drugged and 
dreamy feeling steals over me and I am with you once 
more.  Lying here I love to think of you near me, your
arms encompassing me, my head buried in your shoulder, 
catching the rhythm of your breathing and living for a few 
exquisite moments as one being.  My heart overflows with 
emotion and joy!  It is as if I had never loved, but now I 
realize that I never did.  And now, love, you with the warm 
heart and loving eyes, whose picture I kiss every night
and whose lips I so often kiss in my dreams, whose love 
enriches me so completely.  What will happen when you 
actually have your arms around me an I look into those 
very dear brown eyes and we stand free...spontaneous 
combustion!!!  I miss you so much. I dream of the day I will 
be yours.  I love you Paul.
Yours,
Liz.

From: calvin
Date: 6 April 1998

 Here's a painless comment: I'm going to use an alias from now on. Raja
Doake, my real name, will henceforth and herewith and so on be renamed
'calvin' (the koosh guy) on all of the writing I submit here. Why? Two
reasons. One, because I like the name cal vin more than my name (sort of,
at least), and two, if anyone I know stumbles on this site, they'll have
to think a bit before realizing it's me. That's all. 
 =)

From: calvin
Date: 6 April 1998

Oops, again. *sheepish grin* Love is blind in more ways than
one, it would seem. It's also cross - eyed. *I remembered
to press return!*

From: Vincent
Date: 7 April 1998

Kirk, this site is definitely a catch. I'm not exactly sure
how I discovered it, but it is an island in the sea of
politics and porn. My own writing tends toward the romantic
and I hope to submit soon. I will return to this place often 
and I look forward to the next issue. Many of your
contributors are very talented and I am grateful they have
shared their thoughts with like-minded souls. Keep up the
terrific work!

From: Tony K
Date: 7 April 1998

"If love were a tear drop,
my love for you would drown the world."

   - Tony K, (from "Expression Of Love")

From: Kamariah Othman
Date: 7 April 1998

This is a great page.
I love poems..anything romantic for that matter.
I have a collection of romance poems on my page at
http://warga.moa.my/~kamariah

Have a peek.
You can add poems by rod mckuen, kahlil gibran, and others.
Thanks.

From: aghostwriter@msn.com
Date: 8 April 1998

I would like to know if your would be interested in
exchanging links with my pages.

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Olympus/7162/
AGHOSTWRITER'S NEST OF LOVE AND ROMANCE

I receive over two hundred hits a day.

From: Vanessa
Date: 9 April 1998

I think love hurts, sometimes so much it is unbearable.

From: Vanessa
Date: 9 April 1998

I lost something so precious and that was love, I don't 
really know what I lost or how I lost it, but now I feel so
empty you can't understand.

From: Tony K
Date: 10 April 1998

Vanessa,
TRUST ME when I say that there are plenty of people who
understand the loss and emptiness you are talking about.
Just read through some of the poems here at this site and
tons of other sites.

Anyway, I just wanted to say you are not alone and yes,
there are plenty of people who definitely understand.

From: W. Scott Hinds (spelly@buffnet.net)
Date: 11 April 1998

What is the capacity of this site, in regards to storage space, and such? 
Perhaps, an audio segment would add depth and multimedia appeal to the
page?  I would like to submit some of my musical material, but am shy and
embarrassed about posting the lyric s because it is rather poor.  They're
about love of course, or relationships at least, and I have them in RA
format.  Perhaps, you'd be interested, or some of you, it is very musical,
and quite good, in my own opinion.... =)  Sleep well. EST 2:50am....... 

From: RT PATEL
Date: 11 April 1998

THIS IS A NICE SET OF POEMS U HAVE I LOVE IT.

Date: 12 April 1998

Good to see Scott Hines posting haiku on this site.
Gib McRae Cairn has put up a haiku links site that
may help others learn how to use this form. The
site is Haiku Links from WindFall_Haiku:
http://members.tripod.com/~WindFall_Haiku
This is for those of you who would like to learn,
after seeing Scott's work. And, there good refresher
links for the old hands at haiku.

From: Fix it up
Date: 12 April 1998

well lets say it like this your poems are not as good as i 
thought that they would be.  How about putting them
in english

Date: 12 April 1998

Dear Fix it up,

Good constructive criticism here. You want to see the
poetry in English.  Would you please post some samples
of your work that are done in a style you feel more
appropriate for this site?  This way the rest of us will
be able to follow your lead by example, and better our
own work. Let us know that it is "Fix it up" teaching
and leading us.  We are all willing students here.

From: Sandy ablondie1@hotmail.com
Date: 13 April 1998

I think that this is a great site. I know that there are a lot of
questions that I have about love and some of them were answered for me. 

Date: 13 April 1998

Do you know that if you type "love blender" in the search 
box for YAHOO that you get 192 entries?  It is kind of 
weird because it is only the tenth one that really leads 
you to the home page and even then it is at the alienbill 
address.  I am SO happy that I know the new address. :)

From: TruLeigh
Date: 13 April 1998

Dear Kirk,

Thanks for the opportunity to post on your site.
A couple of my friends, that I have done posts
for on your site, have learned that they have
gained international recognition for their work.
They have you to thank for the poetry forum.

From: Angel
Date: 13 April 1998

I have 3 (or so) comments.

the Good:

How will she be? -by Tony K is one of the best pieces I've read in a
while. I can identify to the tips of my soul with what you are saying

also good.... the experiment... a little hard to understand at first but I
liked it

The Bad

Kirk I know "liking" a poem is a personal things and taste is personal BUT
sometimes you pick some not so great stuff to put on the "front page" of
the blender.

The Nonsensical

I can't get my terminal to connect long enough to answer your survey or
mayeb its just not set up correctly the only major comment I ahve is hat
it is difficult to navigate through the "remaining heartsngs sent this
month" it is too long can you seperate it in anyway? 

 From: Angel Date: 13 April 1998

sorry about not hitting return it looked like it did it on
 its own. OH well!

From: Tony K
Date: 13 April 1998

I want to just thank Kirk for this web site.  The past few
weeks have been the toughest of my life.  Writing the prose
I have written and sharing with others who can appreciate
and relate to my poems has meant a lot to me.  I also want
to thank all those who took the time to e-mail or post such
nice messages.  

From: Jenna Holland
Date: 14 April 1998

Tony K. -

I think the reason people poast such nice cmments
is because you do such beautiful work.  Usually when
I go to check out some of the new submissions I 
leave the others until last if I see one of yours posted.
You are very talented and I hope yu know that.  The girl 
that you are wriiting these to and about doesn't know 
what she is missing out on.  Your a real beautiful 
person- both in writing and in heart.

From: KATIE bethfutch@get.net
Date: 15 April 1998

E MAIL ME SOME POEMS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

From: Tony K.
Date: 15 April 1998

Jenna Holland,

Your poem, "Tear", was excellent.  I can't get over the
phrase:
"If I could be anything in the world
I would be a tear, born in your eye,
living on your cheek, and dying in
your lips."

I love it!

From: Janelle de Celis
Date: 15 April 1998

Tony-

You're poems are so beautiful that I can actually feel my 
heart aching with yours.  
I hope the love of your life knows what she's losing.  
I said it before and I'll gladly say it again.
When you find TRUE love don't let it go coz you may never find it again.

From: Jenna Holland
Date: 15 April 1998

Tony K.-

Coming from you that is one of the greatest compliments one 
could recieve.  I would also like to say that i am very 
surprised that someone hasn't picked you up on your work
and asked you to publish it professionally.  And my work doesn't even 
come close to your work.  Yours is the most beautiful that 
i have seen in a while.  I think that yours is even better then 
most established authors.  I want to thank you for sharing 
your work with me and all the others that read it.  It is truly 
beautiful.  

From: Nikki
Date: 16 April 1998

Tony K-
"Last Night I Gave You Space" captured an emotion all too 
often felt by those of us who are more deeply involved in a 
relationship than our partners. Restraint is a hard thing to 
practice when all you want to do is take your loved one in
your arms and hold them forever. Your writing is beautiful--
I look forward to more of your poetry in the future.

From: I've got a poetry page 
Date: 17 April 1998

Can you link to me www.weepel.net/shawn/poetry.htm

E-mail me at Shawn@weepel.net

From: Sarah  Rainmist97@aol.com
Date: 17 April 1998

I'd like to say that I love the Love Blender. I'm so glad that
I can express myself somewhere. This is great. Okay, so what if 
my poems aren't the best. I still love to do it. 

Tony K.- I love all the poems you write. They are so deep
and I lost the love of my life. It was a bad breakup and he
treated me like shit so all my poems are angry. 

From: Tony K.
Date: 17 April 1998

Thanks so much for the wonderful comments!  :)

As long as my heart beats and my soul speaks to me, I will
continue to write and share.  However, I'm afraid that until
I see a happier me in the mirror of another woman's eyes,
most of my writing will probably be rather melancholy.

Hope you don't mind!

From: Kathryn--- e-mail- ktnurse@mobiletel.com
Date: 17 April 1998

I would really love to find more stories from Amy Bloom.
Please e-mail me if anyone knows where I can go for any.
I'm not even sure who Amy Bloom is, but her story above
really hit home, so please, only serious emails.

From: Janelle deCelis
Date: 21 April 1998

Dear Tony,

I hope that the love of your life will return to your arms. 
I know how much u love her and care fro her well being.
I read this from somewhere and I wish I could remember where.  Here it goes:
Without a hurt the heart is hollow.

We all hurt sometimes and it's the way you cope with it that makes a difference.
I sincerely hope that you will see brighter days and that 
the sun will no longer hide from your love's dark skies.

From: deb
Date: 21 April 1998

I'm looking for poetry/readings for my wedding.  I've 
read through a lot of the poems and prose that I've found
on the loveblender.  Would you please tell me some of your
favorites (well known or not) or any other sites on the web
that might have what I'm looking for.

Thanks.

Date: 21 April 1998

Dear Deb:

Try the links on
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/1250/index.html

The Love Blender and many others are listed there.

From: Lilly
Date: 22 April 1998

Dear Tony,
I just stumbled on the Love Blender today and I think it's
great someone like you, and all the others who contribute
have the guts to be so up front about their feelings. It's
a big help for me as I tend to hide my shell.
I'm currently unattached, fell in love a few months back
with someone I only saw once and have since e-mailed with.
I wonder if I'm nuts, but it feels real.
Lilly

From: Eve  (dee33eve@hotmail.com)
Date: 22 April 1998

To: Kevin Greggain,

Kevin..."Dreaming Of Angels"...this is such a moving piece!
Touched my heart and soul!!  "Love and Emotion"...God himself 
could not have said it better!! "Your Key, Kathy"...
Wishing the both of you much happiness!! I have met my soulmate...
and life couldn't be sweeter...!!!

From: peach, peach80302@goplay.com
Date: 22 April 1998

Tony-
After reading your submisssions... I'm curious.  Was there cheating 
involved (on either side) ?

From: Tony K.
Date: 22 April 1998

Lilly,

I can't speak for the other contributors, but for me personally, at this 
point it isn't about having guts to be so up front.  I guess I just got 
to the point where I didn't having anything left but to be up front about 
my feelings.  To her, to myself, to the whole world.  It was something 
I felt I absolutely had to do.  I've learned a lot from it.

In regards to you falling in love with someone you've only seen once 
and since known only via e-mail, I'd have to say I'm pessimistic.  
That's not to say that this could be the start of something wonderful 
and everlasting for you.  I would just advise that you remember one 
thing:  Fantasy love is almost always better than reality love.  
Make sure you do not confuse the two.  I sincerely hope it works 
out for you!
------------
Peach,

Was there cheating involved?  Physical cheating?  Maybe. That can 
never be proven unless one admits it to the other (which hasn't happened).
Emotional cheating?  Yes.  By both sides.  By me a long time ago, for 
which I accept that I was an idiot and made mistakes.  I regret it, 
but I can't take it back either. However I can and did change for 
the better.  By her emotionally?  Yes. Recently. Does she feel she's 
made a mistake or regrets it in anyway?  Apparently not.  

What ever has happened can't be undone. BUT, what I feel that is 
important, is that even though I am not happy about what has happened,
I am happy with the fact that today I am a better person than I was 
before.
--------------
Sorry for the overkill on the responses.  Just felt talkative today.

From: Tony K
Date: 22 April 1998

OUCH!  Sorry.  I forgot to hit return on everyline with that
last posting.  Kirk, isn't there a way to fix that?

From: erin
Date: 22 April 1998

misti---once again, you've submitted some of the best poems
i've ever read!  you astound me.

~erin~

From: Lilly
Date: 22 April 1998

Dear Tony,
I know you're right about fantasy lovers. Ordinarily, I'm
very realistic... still, I can't help but hope that this one
will be different.  Thanks for the caring advice.
 
Have a great day, everyone!
Lilly

From: Talia
Date: 23 April 1998

Wow Kirk...

I just came to the page today because I needed a shot
of love.  Your story hit home.

You see, I had an amazing and glowing love with an 
increadible guy in college.  It lasted 4 years.  We
were young and did stupid things (like kiss other
people every once in awhile)... but the glow was there.

At the end of school, I broke up with him.  I didn't 
think I could ever marry someone that I had cheated on...
wether I confessed or not.  I still believe in that, but
yesterday, I discovered that he has moved on with his 
life.

I am proud of him, don't get me wrong.  I moved on right 
away (at least filled my time right away and slowely 
moved on).  Here was the shocker... I thought/think I 
was/am in love with another guy (it's been about a year), 
but this news hit me... dropped to the core of my being
where only my first love has ever touched.

I haven't been touched there for soo long, that I forgot
that I even had that place.

Well, I spent last night actually crying and doubting 
my current love... because neither he nor anyone else has 
ever reached me the way that my college man did/does.

So there is where Kirk's comments come in... I forget all
of the frustration and (what were those other reasons
that I left??)...

I guess the answer is to be thankful for what I had and 
to live for today... this guy may someday touch me in 
that special spot (figuratively, of course!!).

-Talia

From: Talia
Date: 23 April 1998

I just want to clarify... by cheated on, I mean only 
kissing someone else... nothing more.

Also, it has been about three years since we broke up.

-Talia

Date: 25 April 1998

Misti--
You poetry always strikes a raw, bitter note.
It's said that a person's best work comes from his or her
own life experiences.  But, perhaps a challenge?  
You speak so well in your poetry; how about showing a 
contrast to your usual theme?

--Interested reader

From: calvin (the koosh guy) meese42@mailcity.com OR marvin_86@hotmail.com
Date: 25 April 1998

 I just need to spill a bit... one of my best friends died
in a car accident three weeks ago and her memorial was
today. I'm nowhere near being ok, but I'm feeling a lot 
better than I should. The main reason for that is my
girlfriend, who was also close to my friend who died. (I 
really don't like the word girlfriend, I need to come up 
with a better one...) She's really helped a lot just by 
being there for hugs when I need them. It's meant a lot to
me, especially because it was my friend who got us together
in the first place...
 For example, the day after the accident, we held a...
gathering... at our school's music department. I was all
curled up in a little ball (even though I'm 6'1&1/2) and I
was shaking but I couldn't cry (does that make me defective 
or something?) and she just put her arms around me and held 
me like I was a little baby. That's the sort of relationship
we have... 
 I've been absolutely crazy about her for a year and a half 
now, but if it wasn't for my friend a month ago, nothing
would ever have happened. And now my friend is dead and I 
have to admit I feel horrible. I've tried to forget it by
enjoying myself, which is what she would have wanted, but
now I've burst my bubble and I feel guilty about ever having
had one. The priest at her memorial was talking about how
she's in paradise and is happy now, but my problem is,
being a confirmed agnostic, I get to live the rest of my 
life not knowing what happened to her when she died. All I 
know for certain is that I'll never get to see her again and
my... significant other... (that's not right either)... my
.... someone (there!) is all I have left as a reminder. At 
least, as a constant reminder.
__________
 Sorry about all of that.... but I needed to spill to 
someone now that she's dead, because she was the one person
I could REALLY confide in.

From: Allison Crow  acrow@texas.net
Date: 25 April 1998

Its been a while since I juiced up the blender but I must
 say it is still mighty fine!  Misti Velvet Rainwater, you
delight my senses; a piece of that hue was DELICIOUS!!!!

I submitted a poem in October called "you lost."  Isn't 
amazing the emotions that love lets loose? Ah... well stick
 around a while...dare to dream...risk the heartache and 
when they laugh at you, you look them in the eye and say,
 "have you ever dared to love that way?" 
 Maybe one of these nights when I am sleepless due to longing over love, I'll write another poem about the winner...he was worth the waiting...and sure as hell woth the risk!
I dare you to love,

Allison Crow

Date: 26 April 1998

Eve-
I just read "A Simple Act" and "The Essence" I would 
just like to say that when i read them i could really feel
the essence you were giving off.  You are very 
talented and i hope to see more of your work here at
the Blender.

-Jenna Holland

Date: 26 April 1998

Tony K.-
I was just wondering why you haven't been writing?
Has something changed and you have nothing to 
write.  I was disappointed to see that you have had 
anything to submit since April 19th.  I look forward 
to your work and i hope your back to writing soon.

-Jenna Holland 

From: Tony K
Date: 26 April 1998

Jenna,

I'm extremely flattered that I've been missed!  :)

Things changing in my life? Absolutely. I've got more drama
than an Aaron Spelling series or any daytime soap.  So
I've plenty to write about.  Unfortunately, I had to
temportarily devote most of my personal time to catching up
with all the work and stuff that had piled up during my
little "emotional pause".  The world doesn't wait for you
when your down, I have so learned.  But I'm just about
got my head above water and can clear some time to start
writing again.

Actually, I was thinking about submitting some actual past
love letters, but I'm not sure if that would be morally
right of me to do so.  I'll have to think about that one.

In the meantime I'll start submitting some more poetry 
shortly.  PROMISE!!!

- Tony

Date: 27 April 1998

Tony-

Glad to hear you back and will soon be back on top!
I can't wait until your back to writing and i see some 
of your beautiful work again... Until then i hope that  
since you are out (or almost out) of your "emotinal
pause," that will not change the essence your work 
gives off.  I know it wont.  No matter what happenes
in your life and no matter what kind or how long of a
"pause" you go through i know you will always have 
something beautiful to say and from there turn it into
some form of hevenly bliss put in words.  In other 
words im just gald to see you back. 

And remember... you promised! 

-Jenna   

Date: 27 April 1998

City of hopes
State of wishes

A million hugs
A million kisses

Of all the girls
I have met

Your the one 
I'll never forget

Author
Unknown

From: Eve 
Date: 28 April 1998

To: Jenna,

Thank you so much for the kind words!! They are truely 
appreciated!! More then you realize! I have been writing
for as long as I can remember. Just recently started 
sharing with family and friends. Thier comments were all 
positve. But i needed an objective opinion. 
While surfing I found the Blender. This site is so full
of talented people! I sat and read for hours!! I was so 
taken with the "true to heart" feelings that were shared
here openly. It felt safe here. To open up and try my hand.
To be viewed by my peers. Who I admire for their courage!
Their talent and most of all their honesty!! It took me
several attempts to build up the nerve to submit. 
I chickened out so many times you'd laugh!! Then finally
one night at 1:30 am. With mouse hovering, I did it!!
It felt good so I did it again!! :) To come back and
find your kind words! What a rush, to put it mildly!!
Thank you!!! Jenna!!! 

Date: 28 April 1998

Eve-
There is no reason to thank me.  If something is 
good the person that wrote it or did it (or whatever
the good thing is) should be told of how good it 
is.   I haven't recieved too many compliments 
in my life.  But the ones i have recieved were 
and are very special to me.  So i know how 
good it feels to recieve one and how much it 
may boost someone's confidence.  I hold the 
compliments that i recieved high in value and every
time i give someone a compliment and they 
thank me for it that value goes that much higher.

It is as easy as this:
Your work is good you shouldn't "chicken out" 
on submitting any of it anywhere.  I hope too
see more soon.  

  " If you don't have anything nice to say
about a person, you just not thinking 
hard enough."
                           - unknown

- Jenna Holland

Date: 28 April 1998

Sorry about that long lecture on Compliments!
Just wanted you to know how good your work is...

-Jenna

From: Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 28 April 1998

Erin,
  Thanks so much for the compliment!! It always surprises 
and pleases me whenever someone appreciates my poems 
(especially when that someone is a fellow poet whose poems
I admire!). 
  This comment is for the person who remarked on the 
bitterness of my poems. Have you ever read Dorothy Parker,
Anne Sexton, or Sylvia Plath? That is the "school" I am
from. I have simply experienced too much pain and 
disillusion to write sappy poems that you can find on a 
Hallmark card or on a plaque in a gift shop. Even before
I lost my "innocence" those type of poems have never
appealed to me. I do appreciate poems that are positive and
life-affirming when they are done right, and i feel that I
have submitted some positive, happy poems to the Blender.
But I am more Courtney Love than Celine Dion and I will 
probably be caustic rather than cheery until the day I die.
Emily Dickinson I ain't. And everytime I write a poem it is
a challenge,regardless of whether or not it's actually
autobiographical in nature.

From: Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 28 April 1998

Oh, and Allison- thanks!!!!! I'm so glad you enjoyed A Piece
of That Hue. Thanks, Kirk, for putting it on the front
page. This site has meant so much to me. It has been a 
delight seeing my poems posted and reading all the poems
that other people have posted. I've got a purple folder
filled with my favorite Blender pieces.

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