By Sarah/ Rainmist97@aol.com
Date: 8 April 1998

Heartless Bastard

You don't seem to care how heartless you are with your stupid friends and loud music.
I'm not impressed with what you have become since you decided to leave me for another life and it didn't make me very happy.
I'm sad, angry and lonely like hell without you.
You think your bitter existence is something to be proud of...get a clue.
I want to hate you for treating me like shit but I can't find it in my heart to hate you, you bastard but to only forgive you. 
Life goes on they say but not for me. It just ended because of you.
My physical being will go on but my heart and soul are eternally yours.
I do remember you and the memories you brought and I laugh and enjoy them
but I enjoy them with tears in my eyes because I want to be making memories 
with you right now as I write this. 

I picked up the phone and called you with serious news but you turned it into a 
social call that only you could.
Once again, I fell into the trap that you laid, if that's what it was. 
We almost talked for an hour, something we hadn't done in months and when we
hung up you said, I'll talk to ya later.
I'm not stupid, I'm not blind. I know I will not talk to you later. I know that you
don't and won't have the guts to pick up the damn phone and call me. 
I know you too well. 
Spare me the details of your thoughts and feelings. I don't want to hear them.
They will make me puke anyway.
You've told me and made it clear how you don't want me and I don't want to hear
it because I cry, cry, cry for you to kiss me, touch me, listen to me, hold me.
But you never will again heartless bastard