By Tisiphone
Date: 5 April 1998

Unrequited

             

 Things become crystal clear when I use that moment like a flashlight 
 & shine it over all of my excavated emotions
 There's always a moment a second a picture a phrase a movement a
 punch a struggle a yank into love
 That makes everything around it reflect back like a cavern at the bottom of
 a mineshaft
 Light bounces off affection crystals and turns lust into a smiling diamond a
 leering demon a screaming damsel a swift surrender into unknown depths
 of longing
 Unrequited
 Left with a body imprint in my bed
 A tiny scar in a public location
 A memory of lips on the back of my palm
 Lips that oppressed me on the opposite side from twisting lifelines across a
 foreordained skinmap
 Lips that caressed me without meaning to caress
 I feel the weight of all the promises we never had a chance to make
 I feel the weight of all the afternoons we didn't spend in childish
 affirmation
 And of songs we never sang off-key in twisting drunken harmony
 But all the weight is quite off-set
 By the echo of your laugh
 Which is all that remains from the transformation I never made to the
 enviable role of palliative
 I'm not yet a desirable butterfly, but a hopeful larva all the same
 One day I'm sure that I'll hatch into something prettyfuckingamazing
 And I am prepared to wait until then for you to come up to meet me in the
 air
 For I am yet hypnotized by the pattern your body made the moment I fell
 in love with you
 Again.