By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 9 September 1998

Spare me the sugar, honey

when you say I'm weird
    out there
     mousy
  way too deep
     ridiculous
  I can believe it

when you label me
   a freak
   a loser
   a bitch
 I know it

 when you toss compliments
     my way
 I burn
   with indignation
 knowing you're lying
  playing games
     wanting
 something easy

 don't tell me
I'm beautiful
 don't bless me
with terms of endearment
  save your babes and sweethearts
for someone who walks the earth in a breathtaking body
  with shallow pools 
     of lust
wasting in her eyes
     her mind a vast playground
 get dizzy on that merry-go-round, if that's what you want

I can live without the crumbs
I'm many things, it's true
flawed and eternally awed by all that I lack
but one thing I'll never be
is a dog
begging at your banquet

don't deem me
  an angel
that won't work, either
 don't bow your
    head
 and believe in me
don't dream me up 
  all tasty
  and warm
when that's what you're
   hungry for

I'm comfortable
with the truth
resigned to being who I am, really
   when the dress 
     is too tight
 I don't diet
  -I give the dress away

not just my feet
but my whole being
  is made of 
     dubious clay
  I'll never pretend otherwise

keep your roses and valentines and chocolates
 sell your hastily written would-be love poems
       to Hallmark
    
those cliches
  are landmines
  not even cleverly hidden
 an obvious affront
  to the desert landscape
     that is
  my home