By Jlor jlorenz@saber.net
Date: 28 July 1999

I-V League Cowboy

(Setting: Cowboy talking to girlfriend on  I-V-L Phone)


Hey, Ma Belle Jeune Fille
Is any of  what I'm sayin'  gettin' through to you?
Since when did you require me in advance 
To come custom calling and you give me a prearranged calling plan?
I used to be able to show up anytime
Now you're always giving me a  busy signal,
Telling me you have too much to do.
Hey, are  you stickin' it to me, little girl?
Numbing my mind?
Tellin me something different everytime you pick up ?
And who is that drip, drip drip 
I hear talking in the background?
My heart ain't wired for you 
To be jackin' into another  guy.
Don't lie to me! What's his name?
He's your roommate's boyfriend?
Sounds a little phony to me
What's he doing there
Hangin' 'round my  filly
When he's already  got his own little pony to ride?
Tell him he's gotta get past me, and show me some caller ID
Cause I'm a wiry guy,
And none of them  I-V league manners
Is gonna  keep me from givin' him 
A priority ringin, if we have words.
How 'bout us givin' him a long distance
Trip out of town?
He can go make love to that there 'Venous' di Milo!
Hey, I'd pretty near do anything 
If  you'd stop givin me that same old  line, honey!
What's that? No my ears ain't bad.
I heard whatcha said.
It's my heart,  not my ears, is broken.  
I guess I can't  get through to you,  can  I?
Are you still the same girl I used to know?
Or is my love for you all in vein? 
I guess I'm just talkin' to talk to myself, aint' I?
What's that? Nothing comin' through on your end? 
Sorry, you faded out, there...
Hello?  Hello? 
She hung up on me....
No one's answering....
Let it ring a little longer
Well, I guess my phone IV's been disconnected!