By meow1744@yahoo.com
Date: 12 July 1999

The insides of my eyelids

When I close my eyes at the end of the day, 
I think that you'll finally drift far, far away
I think that you won't return until dawn
and for the first time all day, you'll finally be gone.
I think that the blackness will out-do your face
and that the thick night will fill in the space.
I naïvely think that the sleep will pretend
that I don't love you so much and that we're at an end
I pray every night that I get some release
from this hopeless obsession—I just need some peace.
But my restless midnights just don't understand
I ask them to help me, to give me a hand
in trying to forget you, but sleep's not what it seems.
Each night your face finds me in each of my dreams.
Just when I think I've at last become wise,
I fall asleep and see the gray in your eyes.
My dreamworld's consumed with visions of you
and it's too overwhelming, since my real world is, too.
Each night is always exactly the same,
each minute filled with me breathing your name.
How can I possibly live through the day
when even my nighttimes decide to betray?
I sit here and drown in a sea of regret
I try to move on but the night won't forget.
I cannot deny the fiery spark
that crackles between us—I can see in the dark.
You're in everything I do and in all that I say
It scares me to think I'll keep living this way.
I dream in such color, and of every kiss
I cannot imagine you're tortured like this.
I guess the night wins, there's no more I can do
but is it possible to think that I haunt your dreams too?
I'm tired of battle, I give up the fight.
It is clear I'm no match for the shadowy night.