By The Guppy
Date: 12 July 1999

reference

i've got nothing to do today
'cept to think about what i would say
and to think about my pressures
and to wonder whether all i do
and what i say is getting through?
or is reduced into gestures?

just to stare at fading
yellow pages, debating
who to call
if a fix is needed, dial the number,
if your pipes are leaky, call a plumber
but, who could fix it all?

thought for a moment i could
have all the answers i should
right there at my fingers
need some help, make a call
any reason, great or small,
but, still the feeling lingers

seeing solutions temporary
i turn to the dictionary
and consult it's pages
tells me that love is work
sometimes you smile, sometimes you hurt
and you can never pick your wages

turn on the t.v. set
tells me to place my bets
on a distant psychic friend
says she knows inside my head
if she did, she would call me instead
and she wouldn't just pretend

fed up now, i have a drink
and make my way towards the sink
that i think my love has flowed to
wonder if it's in the bits
stuck in the drian screen or if it's
in the soapy residue

the phone rings once, i rush to it
i hope it's you, but find that it's
some creepy psycic lady
says she sensed i had some doubts
called me just to find out
if she could make some money maybe

i tell her that i'm busy staring
down a dirty drainpipe, daring
to peer in to it's hollow
"i can't help you if you don't believe"
"i don't need your help...you'd better leave
my place is not to follow"

frustrated and diluted, i make
my way to my room and take
your picture off my shelf
hold it in my hands and cry
wonder why i try to deny
all these things within myself

because it is easier just to
do the things i feel i must do
and see as right and wrong
it's hard to know when tears flow thick
and my mind grows strange and my heart beats sick
where exactly i belong