By carmen
Date: 24 January 1999

Delirium

Confusion of words-
spoken or thought?
Lioness dreams-
none what they seem.
Incongruent images
of smiling and loving,
of longing and aching inside.
While the surface
is giddy and silly
with adoration
and childlike delight
at each breath you consume
there is no room
in my chest
for even one breath
more that you give 
that I'm able to take 
without hardship 
and heaviness 
weighing and pressing 
and crushing my lungs
I swallow 
broken glass
or my pride- 
it all feels the same.
You name rolls painfully
off of my tongue
and into the air
where others can share
what I cannot shake-
and your baby blues
twinkle in my daydreams
and nightmares-
again-
one in the same
and again
your name
strangles my brain
as I fruitlessly aim 
to reclaim
my foregone sanity.