By jovita jovlad@yahoo.com
Date: 7 December 1998

time's up

sometimes it gets to be just too damn tiring
all the fighting
and the hoping 
and the understanding
and the patience 
and the jealousy
and the indifference
its like a merry-go-round
and each emotion has its own horse.
i feel tired
and washed up
and used up
and fucked up
and i don't think there is much more of me left.
what do you do after the tears stop comin'
but the pain wont go away
or when you can't even enjoy the laughter
'cause you know it belongs to the moment
and not to you.
everything is wasted
and i'm wasted
and all the time spent trying to make it perfect
has been wasted too.
we're standing in the same spot we were in
when we started this thing,
or have you been moving ahead without me?
i really don't know.
all i do know is that i'm scared as hell
because all the lies i've been telling myself 
are starting to run out
and now there ain't nothing to believe in anymore
since i can't even believe in you.

i guess the alotted time is up.