By The Guppy
Date: 17 June 1999

my feathered self

tongue-tied and weary i wade in my element
wishing that love was a little more relevant
listening to songbirds who sing on the wire
the simple free melodies which i admire
another word written, another word spent
another day guessing what exactly she meant
when she told me, so carefully, "i can't abide"
"i love you so much...so, from you i must hide"
confusion, it pounds me into perplexity
lost in a daydream of when she was next to me
lost in a world of mascara and curls
half-watching life as the plot still unfurls
becoming so sea sick, though stuck on dry land
wanting to run, but unable to stand
making up evidence to keep me amused
assembling a bomb so it can be defused
wondering if maybe the second i told her
i should have expected the chill of her shoulder
i should maybe just try to take what i get
if you never look back, you never regret
and you never remember the names once they leave
and you never think twice, and you never believe
and nothing is sacred, nothing is true
and nothing can change, if nothing you do
i still can't recall the last words she told me
but, she made it quite clear she was trying to unfold me
she made it quite clear, with a laugh and a smirk
she wanted to hurt me, i can't help that it worked
i can't help it that songs still upset me at times
the ones sung by people, not the birds on the lines
i could wander for years with my heart in a vice
play all the parts of the men and the mice
watch close for the ravens, whom often i choose
and protect little songbirds who now sing the blues