By scott
Date: 12 June 1999

reflections of a loss, slightly irrate, iteration #3; alternately titled: left for dead in an abandoned californian hotel

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it hit me then
harder than anything else ever before
she had left me for him
gone running from me to him even
and left me for dead in a california hotel
i had nothing now, not even a suitcase
or a toothbrush, or even some clean linnens for our soiled bed
just a cheap bible in the fake rosewood nightstand
and a note
not a regular dear john note though
she had teased this one, and sealed it with a kiss
rosey lipstick on the envelope in the faint outline of her supple mouth
and beside the note, a small vile of jack daniels
"just enough for one," i thought to myself
how damned appropriate
after i chugged down the sweet whiskey
i got up, and went for a shower
you know, sometimes when the beads of sweat are rattled by the assault of steamy water
you think about things
how they were
how they will be
and how it could have or should have been
i miss her, yes
i still love her, and she is far away now
so i will have to get over her
so i will have to pull the trigger