By Crystevin
Date: 21 April 1999

Modern Love (revised because of spacing)

Because i've been corresponding with a new friend on this subject lately and because i have studied it, experienced it, lived it, am still living it, i thought i'd take a few moments to rant about it. Love and Romance in the modern age. Cyber love, cyber romance, cyber sex and the impact on individual lives is a current field of study and writing for me. The culture of the internet is rapidly emerging as the new social scene of the late 20th Century. Many people have crossed over from simple email and commerical aspects and have let the internet become ingrained into the very being of who they are, who they love, who they know. As many of us have seen from our own experiences, relationships on the internet take many forms. The relationships i'm most concerned about are of the romantic nature.

Let me sub-categorize even further. Net romances where at least one of the participants is also involved in a real world relationship. The impact is hugely dismissed but real nevertheless. When we fall in love on the net, we fall in love. There is no distinction between net love and real love. LOVE IS LOVE. When our minds, emotions and souls are completely owned by and consumed by love and passion, there are no 1/2 way points. The result is an impending collision course between cyber and real.

The consequences may differ with each individual case, but the result is the same, somebody or everybody will feel pain. So why do we do it? Because it's LOVE..we all want to feel loved...we all want to express love, more importantly, we all want to give love. The reason cyber romance is becoming so popular (and in my opinion, a major problem affecting real relationships), is because it's easier to love that which is not real. We don't wake up to the bad breath or see the stained undergarments in the laundry. We don't have to call when we are stopping after work to have a beer with a friend, we don't have to politely refrain our remarks at the odor of flatulence under the covers. Basically, we dismiss many of the realities and responsibilities that are required in a real time relationship.

My study will attempt to follow and document cases of net relationships turned real and look at the outcome in sequential time lines. Currently, the data is not looking good. Besides the negative impact on existing relationships and emotional heartbreak, (especially in families) there is the realization that once you "crossed that line" it becomes easier the next time..and the next. What's my point? Simply this..tread lightly lovers, protect your heart and those of the ones you love..and remember, LOVE IS REAL as are the heartbreaks regardless of the medium in which love is acquired.

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