By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 23 October 1999

Always A Bad Bye

funny boy
silly man
when I told you
I wouldn't be
in another
relationship
for a very long time
when I told you
I was going to be
promiscuous
and have myself
a lotta
one-night stands
[one-night stands are GROSSLY underrated]
you said
THANKS!
in your dry
poor little rich boy
way
and so I had to point out
to you
that it was a compliment
I had to explain to you
that you had ruined me
for other men
and still
I don't think
you have 
a clue
you have no idea
what you
meant to me
what it felt like
when you wrapped your arms
around me from behind
when we were in bed
and asked me
what was wrong
you never knew how happy
I was to be with you
in a grocery store
putting Cheez-Its
in the cart
and you need
to know
how real it was
for me
I didn't care
if you were a
lieutenant in the army
or a bum
off the street
it wasn't your money
it wasn't what you
could do for me
it was simple
and stupid
it was me
sitting beside you
on your couch
clenching my fists
gritting my teeth
willing away
my tears
because I never
wanted 
to say
good-bye.