By LadiesMan
Date: 12 October 1999

Call Me Anytime

I met  you on the internet. 
At first you were warm and effusive 
As we exchanged our greetings.
You asked me to let you know me.
I told you the truth 
Suddenly your letters become shorter
And small talk more pronounced. 
You became too busy or tired
To talk much.
Then you didn't write at all. 
At first you told me 
It was the inner person, not the exterior
That mattered most to you
And you didn't mind if I didn't have it all
You said you just wanted a nice man.
Well, honey, I guess men aren't the only ones who lie
Because I obviously didn't meet your standards
Which all women seem to have, for money and looks
Your letters become less frequent, and  pretty soon they stopped.
Oh, darling, I know how horrible it must be 
For  you to belong
To that oppressed female underclass 
That no matter how ugly, fat, old, poor or uncouth  you are
You get at least five responses to each of your ads from men,
While I , just as ugly, fat, old, poor and uncouth
In my ads from women get ZERO replies.
Let me pause a moment to feel for you
Innocent victim
In this sexist jungle 
Filled with predatory men.