By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 13 October 1999

perception of a luckless bad girl

do you see spiders or do you see stars
I see melted candy bars
don't know cars
or hockey
or any kind of ball
but I know the shadows
on my wall
and when
you call
I know Pretend
and I know Discount
and I know End

sending you reasons
the old-fashioned way
won't make
what has left
come back
to stay

play Find (I don't mind)
     Fuck
 and Forget
   I'll stick to Lover's Last Roulette
  your Juliet died 
    when you were born
  I'm only the cow
     in the meadow
    eating green corn
  scorn becomes you
   it's your due
we can't all be as articulate
   and deep
    as you

what gets me through
when no one is calling
what's a girl to do
when there's no more balling
writing & reading & masturbating
  OH MY!!!!
 i have forgotten
    how
   to cry