By kevin urenda, kluless70@hotmail.com
Date: 27 September 1999
beautiful disaster
beautiful disaster
She was
the most beautiful
disaster I ever witnessed
In perfection she allowed
herself to be wounded
by loves she could never keep
but could always hope for
The wreckage within her
had an almost imperceptible face
that left behind a heart
that could never accept
the happiness she dreamed of
but never thought she deserved.
For the longest time I tried
to convince her otherwise
But faith in anything was
never in abundance around her
and though I participated
I never felt I was anything more
than just another spectator.
Her unwillingness to
see the beauty within herself
became as a paper weight
on the pages of my heart
And her refusal to reconcile
herself with the picture
of her in my soul
chained itself to me
like a leaden anchor.
The hardest thing I never wanted to do
was to perform a Houdini act
as she threw herself overboard.
But I was not hers
to have and to hold
and be held
sinking into the depths
of her despair.
8/5/99
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