By Misti V. Rainwater
Date: 25 September 1999

i bug you

     it began as a mistake
    I saw you and decided
       you were someone
        I needed
         to know
  even though I didn't feel pretty
      or on top of things
    I approached you
       thinking
    What the Hell

      you took the bait
    and I don't delude myself with
      Oh! He Recognized Me, Too!
     you didn't see the magic
         I saw
     you didn't see someone
    you knew
  right away
       from Atlantis or the primeval forest
   I'm guessing you saw the potential for some no strings attached 
           ACTION
    not the potential for a soul mate
    or a friend for life

    I took you on
    and stuck with it
   even when I saw things in you
      I didn't like
    you scared me the first time
   we were together
     and I didn't want you
    like you wanted me
   the morning after
     I was in bed with a stranger
   I resented you
    when you told me you knew
    about my baby
    you could fuck me
     but you weren't allowed
    to probe my soul

      love happened soon
     almost right away
     despite my distaste for your bad habits
        and my insecurities
       stacked like LEGOS
       but not as bright
  I can't pinpoint the exact moment when I fell
     but when it happened 
     it was hard
    and it has lasted
      through our fights
   and disconnected silences
           through the times when you are faraway
            and all I need
         is a touch
  but you are separate
     thinking thoughts
   you don't want
       to share

   I am afraid of losing you
   but I know
     it's inevitable
     we came upon a faerie ring
      on the most magical night of the year
    and while I cried and thanked God shivering
       you yawned and stretched and changed
          the subject

  I cannot touch you
   my beauty and better than average IQ
        don't nibble at 
   your toes
   I am not a rose
  in your garden
    but a bug

     when you step on me
      someday
and squish out my guts
      I hope I at least leave a stain
     on your new running shoes