By Rebecca
Date: 5 September 1999

Destroyed

Derrick broke up with me.
It was kind of shocking at first. I mean, he said that no matter what I 
did, he would never leave me. (He's in the military, so he's gone 11 
months out of the year)He said I could come back to him no matter what
I'd done. 
  That was, until he found out I was escorting this guy on a date as a 
favor to my cousin who dates the guys roommate. That way, the guy 
wouldn't be "lonely". Okay. 
  Derrick found out and was very hurt and dropped me on the spot. He
ended his email with "But we can *still* be friends." I wrote him back,
crying angrily,"Friends? I don't want to be your friend! I can't be 
your friend, because I'm still in love with you!" I told him not to
email me again. 
  At work the next day, I cried in my cubicle. I work in telecommun-
-ications, and so we're supposed to be up-beat and cheery (it's the
company's policy). A customer on the line asked me,"Are you doing okay?"
I began to sob, hard, broken cries. "I have broken my own heart!" I said.
"Is it that obvious??" I asked, trying to laugh through the tears. The
customer said "Well, I was just asking. It's something I ask to everyone.
I'll remember not to do that again." 
  My supervisor asked me if I'd wanted to go home. I said no, that I 
needed the money. And I started to cry again.
  That evening, when I got home,I broke down. I booted up the PC, and I
emailed him. "Okay. You've got your way. If being your friend means that
I can be near to you, then so be it. I am your friend." 
  The next morning, I began to cry again. I had been crying in my sleep,
and when my eyes opened, I was still crying. I checked my email. There
was one from him saying "you are worthy of a second chance. You are not
like any other girl I have ever met. We'll start off as friends." I
started to cry again.I called into work, and explained that I would not
be coming in today. We emailed back and forth all day, with me 
apologzing profusely.
  Now, was this *my* fault, or not? Are we both at fault? Help me to 
figure this one out.