By Misti V. Rainwater
Date: 25 September 1999

gone

      the magic has exited
           stage left
      the moon is on
         the wane
   there is no more radio
         only static
between us
a yawning canyon
I can hear
the echoes
the aching lament
        of my wolfish heart

I wanted to devour him
the wild spirit 
     in my gut
   wanted to leap out
and spark fires
     in his turtle eyes
    I wanted to weave silk
    around him
    drag him down
   into the depths of my sea
   I wanted to drown him
   I wanted to save him
   I wanted to baptize him
      with my kisses
  cast him into hell
    with my menstrual blood
   be the flood
  he couldn't escape
  the light he had to reach
 from the depths of a tangled forest

   my throat aches
   my uterus aches
   my head aches
       from the effort
trying to engrave my initials
     in a tree that doesn't want
  to be messed with
   the tree is really
    a monster
 the branches are his arms
       he is slapping me away

  I'm too dramatic
      too neurotic
      too psychotic
      too erotic
          I want to pour honey
          all over my body
          and invite him
          to tea
  I want to be lazy and stay in bed
      with him until someone breaks down
            the door
   I want to be with him on a small, unnamed island
      for twelve tasteless hours
    I want to be his cheerleader in a short skirt
         with no bloomers underneath
    his illiterate groupie
      gifted in the language
  of unconditional lust
      I want to be the mystery
  he is determined
       to solve

  tonight I have smoked cigarettes by candlelight
      with George Michael crooning vanilla angst
         on a bland station
  tonight I have touched myself
        despite the killer cramps
       thinking of him
   despite our ambivalent phone conversation
     tonight I am a woman
          looking over her shoulder
   and biting 
     her lip...