By The Guppy
Date: 23 September 1999

my life in a kazoo

feeling so much like i'm stuck smack dab in the middle of a kazoo right now
looking up to see a pretty decent looking skylight overhead
taking a few moments to enjoy the sunlight streaming in
kicking back to work on my manly tan
and all of a sudden
out of seemingly nowhere and everywhere at once...
well...breaking it down into sections
first the wind:
it gets really windy
not the nice refreshing oceanside beach resort type of windy,
but, the type of wind that could only be compared to....
hmmmmmm
well...ok...vacuuming your garage floor
then taking the hose from the shop vac...placing it in front of your face...
and reversing the suction
not good wind
now, the noise:
it's noisy
like a kazoo
for those who don't know what a kazoo sounds like...well...
sounds like a duck with hay fever
the weird thing about this kazoo-like contraption that has somehow caught me...
is that it's seemingly invisible and inaudible to everyone but me
i kinda think it might be a ghost kazoo
still researching that possibility though
oh yeah...the girl
there is this one girl...very attractive...very sweet...very...um...nice
she's bordering on being delightful
which is about the best a person can hope for in another person
delight
so, this girl...let's call her "venus de guppy"
i like her...i dare say i love her
and little venus and i would have quite the beautiful relationship
i'm sure of this
one delightful person paired with a borderline delightful person is always good
common mall knowledge
anyway...how the hell do i get her to not only believe in the ghost kazoo,
but also respect it?
and it's not like i'm looking for excuses either
just doing my best to deal with reality in a most surreal environment
i suppose i could ask her to come into the kazoo with me
just seems so cruel
so, i must get out of it, or get used to it

the moral of the story is this...watch out

thus concludes my doctoral thesis