By Anonymous (I have no idea who wrote it-- was forwarded to me by a friend)
Date: 3 September 1999

Kids Say The Darndest Things

 Subject: Kids Say the Darnest Things...

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports,
she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and
dip coming."    Alan, age 10

"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry.
God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're
stuck with."   Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
"Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person
FOREVER by then." Camille, age 10

"No age is good to get married at.  You got to be a fool to get
married."       Freddie, age 6

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people."  Eddie, age 6

"You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the
same kids."  Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
"Both don't want no more kids."  Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each
other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough."
Lynnette, age 8

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually
gets them interested enough to go for a second date."  Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns."
Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OK TO KISS SOMEONE?
"When they're rich."  Pam, age 7

"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with
that." Curt, age 7

"The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them
and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do."  Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
"I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never
going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out."
Theodore, age 8

"It's better for girls to be single, but not for boys.  Boys need someone to
clean up after them."  Anita, age 9

"Single is better, for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no
diapers.  Of course, if I did get married, I'd just phone my mother and have
her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing."     Kirsten, age 10

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
"There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?"
Kelvin, age 8

"You can be sure of one thing - the boys would come chasing after us just
the same as they do now."    Roberta, age 7

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
"If you want to last with your man, you should wear a lot of sexy
clothes, especially underwear that is red and maybe has a few diamonds on
it."    Lori, age 8

"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck."
Ricky, age 10