By The Guppy
Date: 3 October 1999

sideline

how can this be?
i don't know what this is
i know i care
i deep down truly care
i just suddenly realized i don't feel
anymore
and it's frightening
it's been a long time of me trying to get to this point
of wanting to just be numb
here it is
and now i'm wishing i could just cry
or laugh a genuine laugh
and make an escape from mechanical
i wish love would make me stupid again
that i could eagerly fall in love
and lose my defense
in an attempt to deal with loss, i've lost myself
i miss me