By wen  wendy43@hotmail.com
Date: 19 September 1999

Thank You

Don’t hold me responsible for the tears I haven’t wept
for the smile I haven’t shed
the loss I haven’t felt
my soul rejoices with every passing day
each day that is filled with laughing
with freedom

become the one I want
fulfill my every desire
for it will be you
not I 
that bends
that breaks
that cowers in the shadow of dominance

a time before I would have become the impossible
the shivering, quivering, mass of flesh and tears 
twisted, turned, inside out 
each raw emotion an exposed wire
stinging to the core 

would you recognize the person before you 
to say I don’t care if you did
would be a lie
I want you to recognize me
I want you to want me again
I want you to want me so badly you can’t sleep
you can’t eat,
not a second goes by without you thinking of me
it’s my sick perversion
I want to make you hurt
I want to take that emotional knife and stab you with it
as you did to me time and time again
 
I should thank you
you are the sole proprietor of my rehumanization
it’s because of you that I decided to live again
not for what you did
but for what you didn’t do
I should thank you