By un important too
Date: 4 August 1999

the truth

telling you the truth is so hard to do
when telling you will some how but some blame on you too
letting you belive it was all me is fine you see
but the truth is it took two.
you couldnt give freely yourself to me
sharing your hopes or dreams
and talking is something we just didnt do
saying I love you,was unheard of!
I being a woman,   I needed to hear as well as see that  
and I being weak would never demand anything of you
needing you full time not only part time
cant you see it was just to hard for me
so cheating became a way of life for me
knowing this love could never last
but wanting it to so much~I hung on to you~
you see I really did love you  
I needed someone to be there full time
some one I could count on ~oh how I wished it was you
but I just couldnt tell you,its that fear of rejection
of asking anything of you,so there it is 
is the truth you wanted to hear!
yes what I did was wrong
thats why I never went back to you
I felt I had no right too
I felt I needed to hurt myself for hurting you
to pay the price of hurting you  
and that is why I married somelse 
while still in love with you
its hard because Im still paying that price
and still missing you!
and now there is nothing I can do!
no way to make right all my wrongs! but all I still do
is think of you,love you ,miss you.and hurt you!
when all I really ever wanted to do was be with you
share my life with you,be joined to you,raise a family with you!
never ever leave you!
do you know how IMPORTANT YOU ARE TO ME!