By Jeff Kessinger
Date: 2 March 2000
Brave and Lonely
Brave and Lonely
And so here I am, feeling lonely. Not just alone, as that is where I already was. Then, I embarked down this mixed road of hope and improbability. I wanted to be brave and know I could handle the inevitable, and learn not to reject opportunity no matter how unlikely. You made me feel good about me, and I let myself feel good about you. I saw wonderful things in you that made me want to be a better person. I saw such kindness and enthusiasm in you and imagined it could apply to me. For a while I felt we were connected. I felt in love. I felt in heaven. But I knew it was only for a while. And then the season changed. Ever so slowly the trees started losing there leaves. The sky became gray. We didn’t argue or mean to cause pain. We still see value in each other. But the day started with sunshine and I’m not dressed for rain. So I’ll retire to my lonely little room and try to understand, why did I play this little game. Did I come out better or worse? Yes, I have learned more about what I want, but at the cost of knowing that I do not have it.
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