By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 11 March 2000
Destiny Decided
"Wake me up when the nightmare is over," i said
and turned away feeling unloved and desecrated
prepared to spend another numb night in the
same bed with a
stranger
but he was touched by the weary defeat in my voice
and so he did
the best thing
and held me without a word
and that is how
we made it through
that night
and many other nights down the line
we clung to each other
like Hansel and Gretel
lost in the woods
we knew there was no hope
and if we saw a cottage
made of candy
we didn't believe it
and even if we nibbled
at the candy roof
we knew we were doomed
...but realizing the poison is no good
if you're starving
and the bread crumbs
are all gone
I don't know why we happened
Once Upon a Long Time Ago
Once Upon a Time That Never Should Have Happened
Once Upon a Time I Would Love to Forget
I have one shining reason not to regret
the nightmares I endured
and her name is Julie Kate
and she lives with her adoptive parents in another state
and the last time I saw her she sang a song she had learned in daycare
and I had to bite my lips and clench my fists and blink my eyes
and look away
she would not have understood
my tears
I am glad
so glad
I danced Our dance
in the dust
I am glad for all of it
if it all came down
to me being a mother
for nine months
that is what I carry around now
richer for the sorrow
feeling like I deserve
a Happy Ending
it will be sweet
when it comes
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