By Rich Grimm   Outlaw5503@aol.com
Date: 21 March 2000

Everything

I’ve had it all- and I’ve lost it all,
In a glance, a whisper or a dream.
Everything that is important to me,
Has at one point or another been mine.
Love returned I’ve felt living in my heart,
At once acquired- then denied or destroyed.

The night gets so long- always alone and cold,
Waiting on a phone call to let me know I am alive.
Even my constant companion is mute- my shadow,
It sees all the dreams I make real, and watches them die.
As everyone comments on my eternally smiling face,
How can it be that such joy can mask so many tears?

Sometimes I so much want to be only a memory,
Nothing more than a careless whisper in the dark…
But God has imprisoned my soul here with two hearts,
And even in my most desperate hours- I cannot betray.
At times I am guilty of reaching too far for love’s arms,
Other times I am innocent and uncaring in my chaos.

A lonely soul makes a bad coat for the storms that rage,
And dreams are naught but castles built in the sand.
Only the pain and rage that I encourage in my insanity…
Keep me warm.
Silence so often sought, at once becomes my accuser,
Raining memories upon my shivering spirit-
Until I am again drowning in my soul’s blood.

I am weary of searching for peace, I tire of love…
Afraid of bringing more pain into this world-
I resolve to allow no one into the garden of my heart.
Only the thorns and thistles that grow unkempt,
Shall inhabit the silent wasteland of my madness.
While the cold wind echoes hollowly through the emptiness…

When the sea beckons to me again, I shall leave but one set of prints,
At the call of the mountains and valleys- the rain will be my companion.
And finally when dreams come, they will live alone somewhere else…
Where my silent tongue fails- my poems may enlighten you,
Within this desperate, forced laughter you may hear the answer you seek.
Or perhaps just the mocking peal of a lone thunderclap- fading away.