By Ali....windy357@aol.com
Date: 5 November 2000
Loved To Love You
In the dark of night
When almost everything
Is still and quiet
And only the night owl stirs
I lie awake
Wrapped in blankets
Incapable of sleep
Trying to warm that inner chill
That seeped slowly, deftly into my soul
Crawling into my bones
The minute you left
And your memory taughts me
As only a bittersweet memory can
With such ability and skill
The thought of your eyes
Hauntingly beautiful
Brings tears to mine
The thought of your lips
Soft and tender
Makes mine tremble
This is weakness
Sitting here, alone in the dark
And I loathe feeling weak
As I suspect most people do
And I suppose I could say
THat you are my weakness
A weakness that has a name, a face
And another place to sleep
Maybe you were never really mine
To lose
But all those whispered promises
All those waves of emotion
That somehow steadied themselves
Into a seemingly constant state
Why didn't they leave with you?
As my fragile, quivering heart surely did
I let you in
I let my defenses down
With, perhaps, an unwarranted abandon
Never thinking of consequence
And even now
Feeling cold and alone
Shivering in the midst
Of this writhing pain
I know, as I know
Surely of only a few things
That I would do it all again
I would choose to let you in
Lower my defenses
Allow myself to love you
Because before I lost you
I loved to love you
Because I saw in you
So many rare gifts
That you didn't think you possesed
That you never recognized
Until I brought them to light
Until I lovingly took them
Out from under the layers of disbelief
That formed after years of a wandering, tumultuous life
And I love you still
I love you now
Regardless of the past
Regardless of the present
Regardless of the future
And the reason...
That, maybe, is beyond reason
Is merely because
Love always endures
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