By Maggie
Date: 21 November 2000
For my love....
For my love...
By nature’s instinct, and without asking me if it was OK, summer begins to routinely slide into fall. The trees will turn different shades of green as the thought of winter settles in. Cold winds will soon pass through, bringing a chill and killing all that is not hearty. Down at the beach, the footprints will become scarce, and ours, along with thousands of others will disappear into the wind and sea. The mountain streams will freeze halting all reminders of water against rock. We have never experienced the mountains together. I keep thinking we have plenty of time, but I want to do everything with you NOW.
Soon, the sounds of air conditioning will be replaced with the sounds of heat exiting the vents, a sound that will make us long for nights spent outside drinking sweet, frozen drinks, loving and being loved in the grass, cooking ribs at 3:00 AM. But there will be plenty of loving under the covers, won’t there? Maybe we will dine on chili instead of ribs. But we will dine!!!!
I heard a commercial for Christmas music yesterday. A little too early for that. But, as time does when I am with you, the fall will fly. Before we can say “Scrooge”, the department stores will each have a version of Santa (some will be great and some will not be, but the children won't care) sitting in papasan chairs (or thrones depending on the class of the store) taking requests from those who still believe. Do you? I didn’t for a long time. But now, I think Santa (like God) comes in many different forms, and all times of the year. Maybe he visited me last spring. Maybe he (or He) decided it was MY time. I didn’t ask for you. When your wishes go unanswered, you stop asking. But if I HAD asked, you would have been what I asked for. Was I lucky? You bet I was.
I am lucky because when the chill really sets in and going outside will be only because we have to, I will have in my memory our first meeting, the first time we made love. My first trip to Raleigh. Driving back at 2AM, wanting nothing more than to stay “just one more day, one more hour, one more minute”. I will remember the way the moisture glistened on your chest when we went to the beach and the way you looked at me in the sunshine and heat and said “You know, I already think of you as my wife”. That was enough for me then, it is enough for me now and will be enough for me always. I will remember that last drive across the mountains alone, knowing I would never be alone again. I will remember those first days in our house and how right our belongings felt together. And how I felt like I had a home of love and warmth. I will remember coffee and warm mornings on the deck, sitting in companionable silence. Watching you worry over the plants. The details of the summer are etched in my mind the way children will etch their initials in a tree trunk.
Yes, I will remember those bumps in the road, the tears I cried. How I felt like I was on the outside looking into your life, a life I was not welcome in. A life you didn’t need anymore. But we got through that with little damage. We are on the way to a great life together. Nothing is perfect, but as you said this morning, this is so damn close. Weather and rain will wear away those initials carved in the tree but only over many years. I think we will outlast the elements, don’t you? Those initials will only disappear with the intervention of man. I think we will withstand that, too. “We” are strong individually. Are “We” invincible together? YES!!!!!
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