By Gwenivere
Date: 22 November 2000

A Letter From My Lover



        Mister,

               You never met me...and maybe you really don't want to know who I am...but I couldn't take it. See, she's damned special---wonderful by my thinking...and you just sort of tossed her off. I don't get you---not at all...she loved you man---LOVED YOU...gave everything she had...it's not like you have another babe in mind---you just kind of lost her somewhere. She said that after the kid, you just sort of forgot about her...couldn't be bothered.

                I mean---you stopped kissing her. After a while, she noticed that you only did it when she asked...and then she noticed that when you did it, you always sort of looked around---even when you were alone. Like you were embarassed---maybe even ashamed?  Well sir---I'm sorry. But you are dumb as a sack of hammers. She's a smart woman. Once she figured out how uncomfortable you were about that sort of thing, she stopped asking...because it hurt her to feel like maybe she had to beg for such a simple thing.

                And you stopped talking to her...corrected her in front of other people...didn't go to family things---and when a relative asked her how long she had been seperated---since no one had seen your ass in years, you had no idea why it made her cry. And then one day-----there she was. I knew she was married...and I don't play like that. Plenty of fish in the sea, without messing with another man's lady---only----she was amazing. She was smart, and funny and sweet and one day I kissed her. She was shocked man---shocked to her shoes that I wanted to. And you did that. Made her feel so small.

              And kissing that woman---I started thinking you were stupid that day...only she got mad and told me off. Said that I owed you respect at least. Stuck up for you---even with tears in her eyes. Well I started loving her---and hating myself---because she was yours...and one day, she told me that she was going to leave you. Only she told me it wasn't for me---it was for herself. And that night she made love to me---and I about died.

              So Mister, I guess I wanted to thank you. I know life can be tough---but you had her. She was yours, and there, and ready to give anything to make you happy. And she isn't mine---not yet. But I'm going to do my best when the smoke is clear to unbreak her heart. And if that sweet woman will have me, you can bet I won't make your mistakes. She deserved more---but you were so damned happy that she didn't ask for much, you never thought to give a little more.

              The day she's free of you, I'm going to take her on a picnic. I'll load the hamper with the stuff I know she loves...and  there in front of everyone, I'm going to kiss her. And I won't care if the world watches. Because she's worth it, Man. That and a lot more. I hope your pride was worth it. I hope the insecurity that cost you that fine woman's heart was a decent return.
But you lost her. And you deserved to. And I will spend my life trying to make her understand that you were a flaming idiot. And that she is something warm, and special and rare.

             Thanks man. I owe you.
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