By Literary content: Sarah, dragonfleyes@excite.com; graphic: ty, reluctantincubuc@aol.com Date: 7 November 2000
it wasn't a dream. I kept telling myself, as i would pinch myself and screech a little at the pain i had just inflicted. I was lying in bed yet, in my grungy clothing from the day before. Old baggy navy blue sweatpants that were stretched out till they were threadbare, and old black tank top that didn't cover much flesh. I had the urge to shower, but not the energy to transport myself from my bed, where my impression was now vividly marked in the sheets. My room had the glow of mid-day, when you have the shades down, trying to keep the sun out, but you dont' quite achieve it. Being lazy is one of my better trade marks, it keeps me out of trouble. I was wishing right now it wasn't sunny, the idea of sunshine was giving me a headache.So i closed my eyes, and wished it away, then opened them. Damn sun. Nature never listens. I was forcing myself to not deal with reality. As reality should never be dealt with. I tried teaching that philosophy for a while, but no one ever truly believed me, and i cried when they laughed at me. Then i stuck out my tongue at them. I've always had a twin dualage of mature and immature living in me. My mother was constantly telling me to grow up, that maybe one day i would be something if i did, "if only you applied yourself Sarah, you would do something with your life". I would just think about it for a second, disregard it, go sulk for a minute, and bury my head in a book. I suppose the slamming of my bedroom door had something to do with the significantly louder yelling of my name a moment later.
But where was i? OH yeah, dreaming. I thought i was dreaming, i get sidetracked easily. But this dream included a man, a lake, and lots of books. Then i realized, my dream was actually real. Well not real, because reality is not to be dealt with (that is the theme here folks). So in my surreal world, i met a man who was beautiful. And I got to see him naked, because that is what we would all love to achieve at some point, seeing flawless beauty naked inches away from our eyes. I suppose i should point out that flawless beauty to me includes men who are slightly quirkier then others. I myself prefer a man with longer hair, tattoos, and an odd sense of fashion. Now that, is tasty.
I saw a man with green dreadlocks the other day, and thought him the most beautiful man i had ever seen. Beautiful bone structure. But he wasn't the flawless beauty i got to spend time in bed with. Believe it not, it was non sexual as well. I got to lay almost naked with this man, and saw his body spread out like the feast it sure the hell is. Did i mention i was hungry? Then this beautiful man and i got to spend the day roaming, now roaming is something everyone should do. Whether you know where you going or not. Especially if you don't know where you going, cause thats when you do your best drifting. But then he took me to my beloved lake, that gorgeous piece of water that looks like an ocean but really isn't, and should be called a sea but isn't. Lake michigan. I've lived away from it for almost three months now and haven't laid eyes on it till this past weekend, and it was the most beautiful color of turqoise that if i could strip myself naked and paint myself that color all day , i would be satisfied.
So now, i'm being drawn into a world of strangeness, and i feel as if the world i had known growing up is crumbling, and i've decided to embrace it. And this beautiful man of the beautiful flesh and tastiness, is helping me with it. I have the joy of calling him my friend, though romance would be preferable, but not obligatory. I thought i dreamt him at one time, and he was made flesh. But instead he gives me books to read, and lets me sleep with him when i can, and shows me things i would of never otherwise of thoughts of. Now that i'm learning to think on my own, i think i could own up to a few unique ideas myself.
life rocks.