By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 31 January 2000

an "A" for effort

in bed
in another
 cheap
motel room
you snored
beside me
safely ensconced
in a world
of dreams
and I stared
out the window
seeing nothing
but feeling
everything
...the morbid despair,
hopeless isolation
insane sadness
of the entire
human race
      fear found me
  cowering
in the
shadows
     and pulverized me
  because I
     was nothing
  but a babe
      in the woods
doubt decimated me
and I was a pale
trembling ghost

finally feeling haunted
   you awoke
and reached for me
said,"Baby, what's wrong?"
put your arms
around me
kissed my neck
told me that you
could sense
my strange sorrow
and wanted to make it
    go away

I loved you
   then
because you seemed
   like light
brilliant and pure
  and focused
     on me
when I remember the horror
    of our relationship
the hot checks
the shoplifting
the topless bars
the pool halls
the tears of rage
and all the hateful words
thrown like spears
with perfect aim
     I think of that night
and know 
    you were the
     only man
who ever
really tried