By mEg
Date: 3 January 2000

heartburn

how much can i stand
of love
how much can i tolerate?
or stomach?
love
if it's never for me?.... 

sunday a friends gets engaged
doesn't ask me to be a bridesmaid
monday morning I have a voice mail from a married 
friend from college
she's pregnant
whop-de-doo
here goes another shower

Monday afternoon
I say yes to a Tuesday night party

Monday night the hostess 
calls to slyly tell me...
she's dating someone, it's serious
"sorry I didn't tell you about him
earlier... I wanted it to be a surprise."
I'm sure you did, dearie.

"He took me to a fabulous party for New
Years... what did you doooo  (sounds like deeeeeeeeeewwwww)
for New Years?"

Hmmm what DID I do?
I can't remember, I'm getting a little dizzy on all 
this warm fuzzy crap everyone seems to be wallowing in
out in the deep end of a pool....

while I stand in the baby pool with bright orange water
wings with a tiny suit on  that says "kick me here" on the butt...

I'm happy for all of you
hell, I'd wear bells on my toes
and a ring in my nose
and belly dance around City Market
on Friday night
to show how
happy I am for YOU ALL....
I'm happy for you

But not so happy for me.
I'm not sure how much more of love (not for me, of course)
I can swallow
or stomach
or even be in the midst of....  when all I get are these little
tiny
crumbs.... that I have to nurse to turn into one half of a cookie...

an oatmeal cookie that I can't even eat.

I'm not sure I can stomach love
right now.  Ya know what I mean?
You've felt this too, right?

Got a Tums?  I'm feeling some major hearburn coming on.