By chantal
Date: 30 January 2000

Codependent's Prayer

Oh dear god---not again.
You speak from your soul
two drinks too far
free yourself
from your pain
only to create fresh pain
and destroy your own body
before my eyes.

I love you too much
to watch this dance you do
with the killer bitch from Russia,
and yet i know that love will not free you---
not mine,
nor anyone elses.


You ask me to fill in the blanks
all hungry eyes, and needy soul,
and it would be so simple
to think myself a hero
if only I could give you what you need.

But you loved the killer bitch first.
She owns you---
and your heart is not yours to give,
Your ass belongs to her---
so don't go offering me
something she already has,
don't tell me that I can make you whole
when you've hocked it all
before you ever set eyes on me.

I love you.
But I will not watch you die
in the arms 
of something horrible.
I will spare myself that---
and wish to god
that I could save you.
But rescue missions
aren't what love is for,
and I won't be the sort of fool
who thinks she can wrestle
your soul from a monster.