By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 24 January 2000

SCENE 17

SCENE 17- INT. Karis and Becca's apartment. Day. 
Derek, Karis and Becca are sitting at the kitchen
table. Derek is eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles.
Becca is painting her fingernails blue. Karis is
reading Derek her list of expectations.
Karis: First and foremost, and this is not an
option, you must work and pay your share of the
rent and bills.
Derek: What if I prefer to be a kept man?
Karis: You're funny.
Becca: Come on, you know he's being facetious.
Karis: Let's inject some reality into this
conversation. Cool? I know you two crazy kids
are enthralled with each other and alla that,
but I bust my ass sixty hours a week and I'm 
not getting any so I don't want anyone thinking
we're going to have a little mini commune here.
No drugs, no wild parties, no slacking.
Derek: I promised Becca I'd find a job. She's
my chica loca. I'm not gonna let her down.
Karis: Glad to hear it. You realize you're going
to have to sell the iguana?
Derek: But Bueno's my best friend.
Becca: I thought I was your best friend!
Derek: You are. I was exaggerating.
Karis: Bueno no bueno.
Derek: He doesn't bark or anything.
Karis: I don't brake for reptiles.
Derek: What do you brake for?
Becca: Karis doesn't brake for anything.
Karis: True. I sent my inner child to reform
school. I'm just a miserable, colorless, law
abiding, tax paying citizen.
Derek: That's cool. I was worried I might fall
in love with you. That dilemma has been conveniently
solved.
Karis: We use anti-bacterial soap around here. We load
and unload the dishwasher. We sweep and mop. We keep
the toilet bowl nice and tidy. We attack mildew with
a vengeance. We vacuum. We Windex. We don't watch TV
or play the stereo late at night.
Derek: I've always wanted to go to boot camp. Will you
teach me how to shoot an M16?
Becca: She's just being a hard ass so you won't walk
all over her.
Karis: Be a self-respecting semi-mature adult and we'll
get along just fine.
Derek: You're scaring me.
Becca: Don't be scared! We're gonna have fun, believe me.
Derek: Okay.