By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 17 January 2000

SCENE 16

SCENE 16-INT.-Night.
Karis and Becca's apartment.
Karis is sitting on the sofa
in the den eating a bowl of 
Caesar salad and watching "Dharma
and Greg" on TV. Becca stumbles
in through the front door carrying
the blanket she bought in Acuna.
There is a crazed smile smeared 
across her face. Karis glances at
her and shakes her head.
Karis: Oh, God. Don't tell me you had
sex with the guy.
Becca: You're eating a bowl of salad
and watching a sitcom. Better watch it,
girl. Someone's gonna come along and
make a movie about your scintillatin'
life.
Karis: Go ahead. Rub salt in my
festering wound, you heartless bitch.
(Turns the TV off with the remote.)
Becca: Oh, gosh! Did you really want
Derek for yourself?
(Sits down beside Karis on the sofa.)
Karis: I've known ever since I met you
in junior high that as long as I hung
out with you I'd have to settle for the
leftovers. You get the demi gods, I get
their best friends.
Becca: Oh, whatever! You've always had
better luck than me! Anyway, Paul has
a girlfriend. They're practically engaged.
Karis: Paul is Derek's best friend, I 
assume.
Becca: Yes. And we didn't have sex. We
just named the stars and kissed.
Karis: Becca! You spent 24 hours with a 
guy you just met and didn't jump his bones?
You're evolving! I'm going to have to run
to K-Mart and buy you a toy.
Becca: I've got all the toys I can handle,
but thanks.
Karis: Shut up! You make me sick. You're 
glowing!
Becca: You want to know what he's doing
right now? 
Karis: The suspense is killing me.
Becca: He's, um, packing his things...
Karis: No.
Becca: Come on, he'll pay his share of
the rent and bills and groceries!
Karis: No.
Becca: Karis! He's my soul mate, damn
it!
Karis: Not another one of those. What
about Shane? Was he an impostor?
Becca: Shane was a fluke. He was a
Pisces. 
Karis: You can't convince me with that
astrology psycho babble. Does this 
guy have a job?
Becca: Well, he's been on welfare for
the past few months but now that he's
met me he wants to get a job. We got
a paper and circled a bunch of different
job listings. Wal-Mart is hiring, so he's 
going to check that out tomorrow.
Karis: Becca, you're a funny girl. I admire
your highly developed sense of humor and your
ability to grab life by the balls without 
apology or explanation, but I cannot allow you
to let some guy you just met in a bar move
into our humble abode and milk us for all
we're worth.
Becca: He's getting a job! What more do you
want? Karis, I'm sick of sleeping alone!
Karis: So get a teddy bear or a Tickle Me
Elmo!
Becca: That's not the same and you know it.
I won't take no for an answer. Think of
the adventures we'll have!
Karis: You're beautiful and I love you, but
a threesome is absolutely outta the question.
Becca: Gross! I'm talking about nonsexual stuff.
Karis: Wal-Mart gives drug tests.
Becca: Like I said, we circled a bunch of different
job listings.
Karis: We're going to have a pow wow before he
moves in. A very painstakingly thorough pow
wow.
Becca: Of course.