By chantal
Date: 25 January 2000

Strong Until You Touch Me

I wrote a letter to warn you off,
withdrew what was offered,
and scuttled into a cave
praying the next crashing wave
wouldn't fling me onto your shore
and into your arms
where all the subterfuge 
that gets me through each day
melts away like rock candy 
in a warm summer rain.

You saw the woman with her hair unbound,
saw the lips tremble before you took them
crushed me against you
and took in the sweetness
like a sacrament
until I couldn't hear my brain
didn't care what my war scarred heart had to say
and tasted strawberries
everytime you reached for me.

I cannot be your lover.
This madness must stop.
You hint that more than heat
pushes you my way---
and that more than anything
will make me run.
I can't heal your hurts,
can't salve the sorrow,
can't save your life
with love or passion
no matter what it is I wish.

This cannot be.
And even as I push away
turn my face
or traitor lips from yours
I know that I will love you
and weep for you
and hate myself
for putting distance between us,
as I hate myself now
for allowing that first kiss.