By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 8 January 2000

Scenes 11

SCENE 11- INT.- Derek and Paul's
apartment. Day.
Paul is playing a game on his
computer in the den. Sheila is
sitting on the floor reading
Derek's journal entries and poems.
Music: "Catholic School Girls Rule"
by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Sheila: (reading aloud from a purple
spiral notebook) "I'm going to weed
out all the fear and guilt and paranoia
and lust and grow a garden of pure
pulsating daisies in my mind. These
daisies won't be about meanness or
greed or glamor, unlike red roses, which
have thorns and are the color of blood.
No. These little vibrant pieces of nature
at its finest will be about simplicity and
the remarkable resilience of the human spirit
and the brilliance of the evolved mind. These
daisies will glow goodness. They will waltz
in the breeze of clarity. They will sparkle
their triumph and sing their vision of ecstasy
to the tune of "I'll Follow the Sun" by the
Beatles." Paul, are you listening to me?
Paul: Sure, babe. That reminds me. I love that
Happy Daisy stuff you wear. Smells like candy.
You should stock up on that stuff.
Sheila: I got some more of the bubblebath at
the mall last night. You think it makes me
yummy?
Paul: Mmmhmmm. Yummy yummy for the tummy.
Sheila: Seriously, this guy is crazy. Does
he drop acid or something?
Paul: Negative. He comes by it naturally.
He says his mom dropped acid in the '60s,
though, and he thinks he absorbed it when
he was in utero.
Sheila: That could be true. I've always heard
it stays in your system. I knew this chic in
college who says it settles in your spine.
Whenever she got adjustments at the chiropractor
she'd have a flashback.
Paul: Wicked, babe. Damn! Die, dragon!
Sheila: Oh, God! Listen to this. He says,
"I hope I'm not gay. My suspicions are 
aroused because I wasn't aroused last 
night when I whiled away the hours in
The Candy Bar. The Candy Bar is not your
average titty bar. The dancers suck on
Tootsie Roll Pops and instead of performing
to the usual striptease standards such as
"Shook Me All Night Long" and "Black Velvet"
they dance to songs like "The Brady Bunch"
theme and "Pop Goes the Weasel." Surprisingly
enough, some of 'em are pretty hot. This one
girl was especially beautiful. Her stage name
was Cinnamon. She had short black hair and the
most amazing green eyes. Small breasts, long legs,
a bit of a pot belly. But I was entranced. She
danced to the "Welcome Back, Kotter" theme song
and the Peanuts song. The reason I'm wondering if
maybe I'm gay is because I didn't get up to tip
her. I just sat there drinking my Dos Equis. If
anything, I felt sorry for her. I wanted to buy
her a combo meal from Taco Bell or some such 
shit."
Paul: The Candy Bar is such a joke.
Sheila: Oh, really?
(throws down the notebook and stands up.)
(puts her hands on her hips)
(raises her eyebrows)
Paul: That is, uh, all topless bars are a
joke. From what I hear, any skank off the
street can dance in one.
Sheila: My sister danced her way through
college.
Paul: Damn, what am I supposed to say
here? I'm sure Sharon was the exception
to the rule. I would have tipped her.
Or felt sorry for her and wanted to 
buy her a combo meal from Taco Bell.
Or Wendy's. Or whatever. Honey, are you-
are you hungry? Let's go get a lobster.