By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 3 December 1999

Purse Capacity

Last night I was talking to Autumn on the phone and I told her 
that the Dragons got whipped by the Tigers. She said,"What are you
talking about? The Chinese Zodiac signs?" So I guess you shouldn't
feel so dumb, after all. I just assumed you'd know what I meant,
as many times as I've told you about the Chico Dragons. But I
think it's hilarious that you and Autumn both didn't know what 
in the hell I was talking about.
   Autumn dumped Jeff like you dumped me. She told him they had
nothing in common ("and I said/what about/*Breakfast at Tiffany's*?")
but she still wants to be his friend. She didn't tell him about
David, however. Now I'm all paranoid, wondering if you really 
dumped me so that you could be with someone else. I know- you
dumped me so that you could be with Paul! I suspected it all
along. I'm joking. You're too good in bed to be gay.
   Friday night Autumn and David and their friends went to Deep
Ellum. I wanted to go so bad but I had to cover the game in
Jacksboro. Autumn said that one of these weekends we're all
gonna go to Austin. Maybe you can go with us, if you don't 
have a girlfriend by then. I wish I could say that I would
love to meet her. I wish I could say that I sincerely want
you to find a woman who lights your fire. But that's bullshit.
I want you to find someone stupid and shallow who sucks in
bed so that you'll miss me. I want you to find someone who
pretends to like your cats but then when you're not looking,
kicks 'em. I never kicked your cats. I might have thrown 'em
off the bed a few times, but I never kicked them. Aren't you
proud of me for trying so hard? I gave you my 110% in bed, 
I baked stuff for you, and I never kicked your cats. If that's
not love, it doesn't exist.
    Being dumped by you was a good thing. Now I'm on a mission.
I am going to lose ten pounds so that when I go clubbing I can
wear shirts that show off my belly button. I'm going to turn
guys on and then walk away. I'm not looking for a replacement.
I don't want a boyfriend. I want to be selfish and heartless
and all about Misti. Relationships drain the fuck outta me.
Being drained is no fun. I'm not a bathtub...